Jenna,
Don't ever feel you are alone, you will never be alone with us. We all care about each other too much to allow that to happen, and now you are part of us so we will be there for you as well. I can't help you with the marriage issues, as I am just recently engaged and never been married. However, I did live with someone for 7 years a long time ago and I can tell you that my weight gain dramatically began during that time period. I had no self esteem, no friends, and barely talked to my family. He was a control freak. I won't get into details about that on here, but if you ever want to talk, my ears are perked up and ready for ya.. either way once I severed that relationship I still had a lot of emotional issues to deal with, such as the ones I am dealing with after severing my relationship with food.
It is not unusual for you to be on an emotional rollercoaster right now, I think the majority of us did while we were in dictation. You have so many emotions pouring through you.. excitement at the thought of having surgery, fear of the unknown, fear of pain after surgery, doubts about if THIS really was your LAST option, etc. You are a plethera of emotions and that is totally NORMAL!!!
I really hope that you can get some counseling though, because the feelings you are feeling won't go away on their own. If your marriage is already on the rocks, then it won't fall apart BECAUSE of the surgery but could fall apart afterwards. However, with your new self confidence and self pride, you never know it could just get that much better.. stranger things have happened. I hope that whatever road you take though leads you to much success and happiness..
As far as not wanting to get out of the house, most of us can relate to that. I know that I worked at night and EVERY weekend night for several years in an office by myself where I rarely seen anyone else because of my fear of being out in public and being seen. I was ashamed of myself and disgusted with myself. I never went anywhere with friends, especially out to eat. I would have no problem going through a drive thru though to get some real healthy hamburgers, fries, and shakes!! LOL
I just don't want you to feel you are ever alone.. if you ever want to just get out and go for a walk or something.. let me know.. PM me I will send ya my phone number.. if I haven't already.. I'm never more then a phone call away and I know a lot of others feel the same.. so take us up on it girlfriend.. and feel better soon..