Yay Christina!
This was one of the most valuable posts in a while! I expect ALL of us, sooner of later, will have the same reactions when faced with stressful situations.
Yep, the surgery does NOT fix our brains, and they told us that very clearly at the outset, so the hard part comes after the O.R./hospital experience. We've all learned bad habits and it is always hard to break habits learned over years, or for many of us, whole lifetimes.
This realization is the reason I joined Overeaters Anonymous last summer, as part of getting myself where I need to be to make the surgery successful for me. I realized immediately when I wrote my essay for Dr. C that I faced the loss of a 'friend' and there would be a period of grief for that. And grief over a loss is not something you can have a good cry over for a day or so and consider it all done. Grief can come back, over and over - if any of you have lost a person you loved, you will understand this. And losses that cause grief aren't just the death of loved ones, they can be loss of innocence, loss of childhood, loss of independence, loss of a once-loved person through divorce, loss of confidence in someone who betrayed your trust, and so on and on and on.
I'm beginning to learn about my food compulsions through OA and through active participation in this forum, and I thank God every day for bringing these wonderful support opportunities with such fabulous, non-judgmental, loving people, into my life.
Christina, your posting this message is a true sign of recovery for you - one of the very first steps we have to take is to admit we've got a problem with food, and to admit it not only to ourselves, but to at least one other human being. The more we do this, the stronger we can become together!
Keep up the good work for yourself, and for all of us!
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Phil Darby / LAP RNY Dr. Callery 09/27/04........|Max:280+|Min:±155|Now:±175|
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