LisaM

First, apologies to those who have suffered from anorexia or loved an anorexic. I mean no disrespect.

A lot of what I've read on eating disorders says that anorexia is often a control issue. And for the first time in my life, I feel I am consistently in control of what I eat instead of some half-understood urges. There's power in this tool! And in a life that's not terribly under control at the moment, the urge to adjust my eating is becoming hard to resist.

I've been tracking my calories, not trying to control them per se. It started with counting my protein and calcium, then I started trying to figure out what is the best balance to continue losing weight. And the thought crossed my mind today... if I'm losing this much weight at 700 calories a day, how well would I do at 600? or 500? And scared the bejesus out of myself.

I know my appetite will come back when my honeymoon period is over... and I need to resist the urge to overcontrol my eating in the meantime. I think it's time for me to back off counting calories, for one thing, though I do still need to track my protein. Any other suggestions?

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Lisa M

Lap RNY - 9/26/05
surgery/lowest/goal
Weight: 303/137/150
BMI: 56/25.1/27.4
Now in maintenance stage, with desired weight range: 150-153 pounds
Current weight: 139 Updated 10/21/08

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein