Well I'm having a down spell thinking about WLS. It just doesn't seem fair that I even have to consider this. The life style changes, the possible complications etc are really making me second guess things. But when I think about being this weight much longer or even gaining I can't imagine life! I can hardly stand up in one spot for too long, today I went shopping. Black Friday. And I was so happy to get a cart. I notice that I switch feet back and forth when I have to stand because its easier then trying to ballance on what feels like tiny feet for my body. And I'm not really THAT big. Just barely a BMI of 40! Well, I guess that is pretty big but I read on here about people that are 300+ pounds and how they have lived this big for 20 years and I just don't know how they do it! I must be weak because I can hardly manage to live a basic life as big as I am now. When I think about that I don't see how I have a choice. I have to have this surgery. The lifestyle changes are something I will have to live with and the possibility of complications are something I will just have to face. I dunno, I am happy when its time to go to bed because then I can lay down without feeling lazy. Then I feel like I can't breath because my weight is compressing my lungs. When I lay on my tummy its the worst. I guess we all go through these moments of frustration and confusion when faced with WLS. Its not something you just get up one day and decide to do.
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Heather
Lap RNY on 12/12/05
261/118/150/5'8"
preop/current/goal
BMI 17.9
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