Thanks. I just realize that there still is some dissatisfaction within myself that I can't quite harness and conquer. I'm trying to use some avenues to help with that but they are probably the wrong ones because I just end up disappointed. I don't know how I'm going to make my life more peaceful and fulfilling, but I really don't feel happy about how empty I feel inside. I spend money and try to look for men...both of which just make me disappointed in the end. I don't know what I'm doing at this point. I lost weight, I'm losing weight, and I still feel like I'm somehow missing out on life. My perpetual shyness keeps me from getting involved socially with new things/ideas I've had...mainly because I'd have to do them/go to them alone. That's why I keep searching for a partner. I've never been good at doing things by myself. I thought maybe I'd get past that after losing weight, but it's still here with me. So I don't do anything or go anywhere when my friends are all busy (except shop and spend more money, I do that alone all too well.) I need hobbies, I need a life. I'm still not living fully. Last year was the worst of it...being my heaviest, withdrawing from friends, etc. I thought I'd be different but I'm not. I thought of volunteering, taking a class, etc., yet I never do any of it. I just recently thought about joining a gym so that I'm "out there" more...but that of course involves spending more $.
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