Whatever decisins you are weighing, they are clearly causing you pain. You don't want that pain to send you back in to old habits. That could create a spiral that would end with much more of you that you have worked so hard to get down to. See your therapist, and if that is not a productive relationship, find a new one, but find good support. The WLS experience is a metaphor as well as a reality we each live with. If you do bad one day, forgive yourself and do right the next day. While you are at it, try the same about you and about life. Be kind to yourself and take care...
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Originally Posted by jenn75
Let's just say tonight that I don't like myself very much. I wish it were easier to apply the lessons I've learned but no, I rationalize and rationalize until I convince myself I'm doing the right thing...for now. I don't feel like getting into the details, but I'm seriously just not happy. I need some sort of revelation or some sort of help. I guess I will just have to go back to my therapist (who I thought I just said "see ya if I need ya" to just a week or so ago). I can't stand myself sometimes. It's so hard when you think you're this new person and that you can do things differently and get different results, yet I'm still getting the same results, I'm just 64 lbs lighter. I always feel like I'm on top of the world and nothing can go wrong, but then it does and I'm right back to where I was before surgery...down on myself, depressed, and feeling like an unlovable loser. Well, I guess I was due for a good cry.
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