I'm maintaining around 131. I can't seem to get under 130, but then I also can't seem to string more than 3 "good" days together. I'm struggling with feeling guilty about what I eat and trying to decide that food is just food, and to quit torturing myself with my own mind.
I really want to get back to eating the way I should, but life has been really hitting me hard and fast lately, and it's hard to re-commit myself to eating like a thin person. I'm feeling kind of defeated. Of course, part of me realizes that feeling defeated after losing 120 pounds is ridiculous...
I want some mental clarity on all of this...but it seems to escape my grasp like smoke. I'm not giving up though. Sorry to sound like such a downer. But it's where I'm at right now. What's up with the rest of you?
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Debbie
Lap RNY 8/6/07
Highest/Day of surgery/current/goal
251/237/126/131
Goal! I did it!
111 pounds gone since my RNY
125 total pounds gone forever!
Maintaining within a few pounds up and down. 130 is my goal and I've been hovering a pound or two over it for months now.
BMI 22.3
I am not a tame lion......
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