LisaM

Kelly,

As females, we tend to get absorbed in the lives of the people around us, and it leaves us defenseless when they start pounding on us emotionally. I've known a few men who do it too, but many, many women. Part of growing up for me was looking at the people in my life and deciding whether or not I could afford whatever they were asking of me emotionally. With some, I could, with many, I could not. I could not look at my life through their eyes without suffering for it endlessly.

Stop looking at yourself and your life through your mother's eyes--I doubt seriously that she means you any harm, but you feel worthless because you think she sees you as another obstacle while she's up to her eyeballs in your sister's trauma/drama.

Remove yourself from the situation as fast as you possibly can, honey. Move in with the bf, but keep separate rooms, or room with someone else, or some other family member. You cannot look at the situation rationally yourself when you're in the middle of it, and it can drive you straight into a depression of your own.

On a side note, ambien scares the crap out of me. I found myself sleep-eating while I was taking it. Be careful of it... and get the hell out of that house. You need to be Kelly instead of daughter/sister/emotional punching bag for a while.

__________________
Lisa M

Lap RNY - 9/26/05
surgery/lowest/goal
Weight: 303/137/150
BMI: 56/25.1/27.4
Now in maintenance stage, with desired weight range: 150-153 pounds
Current weight: 139 Updated 10/21/08

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein