Hey Chicka! Welcome, great blog so far.
I love SATC. I liked Aiden, but Carrie was very bad to him. They weren't meant to be. I sort of remember that episode you are talking about. I can hear him saying in my head "big tub, little person."
At any rate, I like Mr. Big better.
So, I totally identify with your need to have all your "last meals." And I'll tell you what, because Dr. Jossart wasn't super strict with me - he was like "oh sure, we can do surgery on you right now without a diet because you fall into a weight category that we are comfortable with." He made me feel smaller than usual, even though I was over 300 lbs. I was like - hey, I'm not that big. Ha.
But, I was saying - I wish I hadn't had all those last meals. I gained weight before surgery and now I am wishing that I hadn't because I'd be that much further ahead in the game. The last meals are tempting though - but you can still eat after your surgery. Just not as much. You have to learn to not comfort yourself with tons of food. Or not to comfort yourself with food at all.
However, if you still want to eat, I won't judge because lord knows I've been there and food is my favorite way to make myself feel better. And you will lose the weight.
Dr.s Cirangle and Jossart are so freaking good at what they do. They cost $$, but I justified it as saving myself $$ in the long run. As of right now, I spend way less on just food - but I'm also making myself healthier in the long run. Don't have to worry about diabetes anymore (runs in my family and I was petrified), don't have to worry about high blood pressure as long as I keep going to the gym - and damn do I feel great!
I'm glad you decided to do this. I've been bigger than most others since I was about 8 - it's hard. When I look at myself in 8th/9th grade, I see the same thing. Darn, I was cute....but no one let me think so. So I just ate more because it comforted me.
Anyway - glad you are here. Glad to have someone else from LapSF.
GOOD LUCK and keep us posted on how you are doing!
XOXOXOXOX