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Kymel · 05-07-2009, 08:03 AM

As promised...I wrote this list about a month prior to surgery as a way for me to reflect back later and remember what it was to be morbidly obese and why I don't want to return to that state. I'm glad I did it. As I suspected, the small things fade over time...and a lot of those small things add up quickly into larger things. Anyway, here goes. Some are funny, and some - well, only other morbidly obese people would understand. These are of course, over and above the health and mortality related reasons. These are the little daily things...

* To lay on the couch without fighting with the cushions and feeling like I'm going to fall off
* To walk through an antique store without knocking things over (hips and belly)
* To ride on roller coasters with Kyla, instead of her having to go alone, or somone else filling in for me when she wants to go but is scared.
* To feel comfortable having a portrait or any picture taken with Kyla (or alone)
* To go bike riding
* To not have to look at the maximum weight restrictions on furniture, exercise equipment, etc prior to buying or using in fear of breaking it
* To use a normal bathroom stall without having to stand over the toilet just to open and close the door; or to have to contort my body around to be able to wipe
* To be able to sit in a restaurant booth and not have my belly overhang on the table
* To be able to stand up for more than 2-3 minutes without having to lean on something to ease the pain in my back and legs
* To be able to reach the parts of my body that I need to reach for good hygene
* To not get winded from walking less than a block
* To not have my belly turn on the burners of the stove when reaching over to get a cookbook
* To not have to expend so much energy lugging around an entire additional overweight person all day and not have energy to do much of anything else
* To only need to move the seat back in a car because of my leg length, not to accomodate my belly
* To not feel off balance when going down stairs
* To not have to wonder every time I go to the doctor if they are going to find a positive for diabetes
* To reduce the pain in my lower legs
* To sleep through the night without waking up from the pain in my arms, hands, back and hips
* To be able to plan for an hour or so activity or work and not have to pop 800mg of pain medicine before starting just to LIMIT the pain during the activity
* To stop, or at least limit urine leaks
* To be able to see my reflection in a mirror or glass window and not feel so disgusted and ashamed
* To not have the sores around my waistband
* To not have painful heat rashes under my breasts in the summer
* To be able to soak in a tub and have the water cover the top of more than just my hands and feet
* To be able to scratch my back without using some kind of aid
* To know, without a doubt, that if a toilet seat breaks - it's because it's old...not because I'm too heavy
* To be able to fit in theater seats
* To not have to pass up on training (that could lead to a promotion) because of having to buy an extra seat on a plane
* To be able to wrap a towel around me and have it not only reach end to end, but be able to tuck it in and cover me up
* To be able to have Kyla give me a real hug - arms wrapped around, not just from side to side