Hi Friends,
It's been a while since I've posted and several of you have told me in PM's to get a Journal going, so here it is.
It's funny how fast life can get complicated. Work has been out of control and traveling has really zapped the life out of me. I'm writing to you from an airport lounge in Brussels, looking forward to getting home after a long 2 weeks on the road. I'm home to 2 days and then head to several US cities.
While in Brussels, I had the lovely experience of being mugged, losing my wallet, camera and passport in that ordeal. If you've ever had to get a special travel voucher from a US Embassy, you know how much fun I'm having right about now.
It seems like January was just yesterday and now I'm scheduling meetings for July.
My journey to WLS and my travel are rather connected. Unlike several other stories I've read, my weight problem really started as an adult. My job has always required me to travel and to entertain clients. Eating healthy on the road can be challenging and while I would sometimes do a good job, many times I succumbed to burger and fries hotel room service.
At home, I'm terrifically lucky as my wife cooks wonderful foods and I always get healthy meals when I'm home. Plenty of veggies, lots of fresh foods that are low fat, high protein, high nutrients.
About me: I'm 41, married and have two amazing little girls, who are 8 and 4 years old. I'm passionate about playing with my kids, playing my drums and getting away with my wife for a date night at least once per month.
I found this forum back in January and I read just about every personal story that's posted in here. I was amazed to find other people dealing with the same issues. But, more wonderfully, I found an environment where I knew that I wouldn't be judged.
I also have to admit that I enjoy the anonymity of the TT forum. You see, I don't plan to tell anyone about my surgery, aside from my wife. I've taken some grief from a few of you about that
I have my reasons for keeping it quiet. You can chalk it up to male ego if you want, but that's only a small part of it. I just see it as a personal decision and not something that I want to invite conversation about. I'm already tired of having too many conversations about my weight, so I don't want to invite more. The guys are work with are all fitness freaks who jog 5-10 miles a day, talk non-stop about their physical conquests and mountain climbs. They are far away from having the needed perspective to do anything but judge this decision.
My life is about to change...
The best news that I received on this trip was a call from my wife letting me know that I have my surgery date. June 1 is the big day. I can't wait.
About a month ago, I found a surgeon and discussed several options with him. I was convinced that I wanted to have a verticle sleeve gastrectomy. He agreed that it's a good surgery, but advised me to consider a band based on my BMI and age.
Interesting, my doctor had just had a band put in himself, so his perspective is quite good. His weight situation is similar to mine. Between his recommendation and my wife's comfort level, I've decided to go with the band.
Fears
- Now that the surgery is real, I'm fearful about being hungry post-op. I don't want to ruin the effect of the surgery by over-eating. I've seen lots of posts here on this topic and I have every reason to believe I'll be fine, but emotionally this feels huge. After all, as many of you say, the surgery is not on your head, so the brain takes a while to catch up.
- Complications. It doesn't happen much, but when it does, it can be a real nightmare. So, while I'm not nervous about the lap procedure, I do worry about ridiculous stuff like my doctor calling in sick and some hack doing my surgery instead.
- Life post-op is going to be a double challenge for me. The first challenge is simply re-learning how to eat. The second challenge, and the one I'm most worried about is life on the road. One thing that I've learned is that room service is just pure evil. You just have to avoid it. My new discipline is that I never eat in my hotel room. When I eat in public at a restaurant, I always make a better food choice. So, I have to tell myself that if I'm too tired to get out of my hotel room, then I'm too tired to be eating.
I have a lot to think about on my long flight. I'm excited and ready to get on with my new life.
Things I'm looking forward to:
- Getting rid of the seatbelt extender
- Being comfortable on an airplane
- Going back into my closet and putting on some nice suits that I outgrew years ago.
- watching my blood pressure and associated meds go down
- Playing more with my kids
- Being more active, like I used to be.
- Shedding my defensive attitude about my weight
- And many, many more things.
Take care friends,
Tmac