Today I visited the boards and again found many of the posts that have increasingly shown up in the recent months. I'm going to say what's been on my mind since these posts started flooding the board.
As an "old timer" I've increasingly gotten so aggravated reading the number of posts about the stress people are choosing to put themselves through because they aren't losing weight fast enough. So I'm finally going to post and say what's been on my mind and heart, and I sincerely hope that it's read with the intention it is written: as encouragement that says this:
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"PLEASE RESPECT YOURSELF BY GIVING YOURSELF A BREAK ALREADY! YOU'VE DONE THE RIGHT THING (A BIG THING) AND YOU CAN REALLY SUCCEED! BUT IT TAKES TIME!" 
I don't post on the upsetting and fear-filled "I hit a plateau!" or "I haven't lost any weight!" threads because I figured I couldn't word it to be "nice" or "encouraging" enough. So I'm posting this separately.
I'm also posting this because I want to know if I'm the only one who feels this frustration?
I hope that this can be a thread that will encourage others and give them a kick in the pants about this reality check we can choose to do. A reality check offering encouragement.
I'm also selfish, so I'm posting this to vent because I'm so frustrated and heartbroken from reading so MANY people in angst about how they aren't losing all their weight overnight. I hate it that people are beating themselves up and being self-defeatist about the pace of their weight loss!
So here's what I've wanted to say for a long time now:
Face it folks! It took a looooong time for us to creep up to the weight we hit pre-op. It seems so obvious that it will take TIME to lose all that weight we put on over the years!
There are many reasons why it takes time, but do the reasons really matter???? I don't think so. Because we've been given the tool to succeed. We know what we're supposed to do with that tool. We are doing it (to the best of our personal and individual ability). So WHY OH WHY do people choose to be slaves to the scale and put themselves through the unnecessary pain, angst and self-defeatism of bemoaning the slowness of weight loss after surgery???
I don't get it. If someone can explain the legitimacy of this psychology of self-induced doubt and beating up on ourselves then I'd like to hear it. Perhaps I'm overlooking something or I lack understanding of this choice.
The reality is this: if you're doing the pouch diet, following the pouch rules and dealing head-on with the psychological and emotional reasons for the overeating that caused obesity, then WE HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND RESPECT OUR BODIES' RATE OF WEIGHT LOSS!
Weight loss surgery is NOT an overnight cure. It is a long road, a LIFE LONG road. If you are doing all the right things then why subject yourself to all this unnecessary worry and angst? Come on, it's just adding stress to your body and your mind's stress of recovering and adjusting to this new way of eating and new life. Do you really need the extra worry about the speed of weight loss? Does anyone really ENJOY that extra stress and worry? (If you do, then seek help for that...it's not healthy).
A revolutionary idea is this: how about focusing on the fact that you have DONE SOMETHING that is an effective treatment for obesity?
Why not focus on the fact that you now have the tool to success for long-term treatment of obesity?
Why not focus on the new lease on life you have?
How about marveling at the process, and not just focusing on the numbers?
How about taking pride in the fact that you now possess a tool that has the ability to CURE your life-long struggle with being fat??
Aren't all these wonderful realities just plain incredible and a little mindboggling?
Aren't these realities worth savoring and focusing upon rather than a daily dose of dwelling on the numbers and beating ourselves up??
I read people focusing on "only" losing 2 lbs. Or not losing weight for 2 weeks. Or not losing it as fast as Tom, Dick or Harry. Or bemoaning the fact that they can't lose the last 10 lbs. to hit their goal. Unbelievable! Aren't you happy that you HAD surgery, that it is a proven successful tool, and that you now have at your disposal the means to succeed in the LONG RUN?
We are an immediate gratification society. That's one aspect of weight gain, getting an immediate fix. I've learned during the years since my WLS that the impulse of immediate gratification isn't healthy. It doesn't build a foundation for long-term successful weight loss. The success is in the re-learning of immediate gratification vs. working long and hard for what we want.
Why not look at the reality that it took YEARS to get obese and therefore it may take YEARS to lose that unwanted weight? Even better, with WLS it usually doesn't even take years, right? So what difference does a couple of months make? You wouldn't have lost this kind of weight WITHOUT surgery, so how about focusing on THAT?
You might think "oh it's easy for HER to say, she's six years out!" Well that's hogwash. It's a matter of choosing one's perspective on things. It didn't occur to me to worry over the time it took to lose weight. Instead I marveled at the changes in my body that the pouch created. I focused on the mental aspect of why I was an overeating comfort eater. I did the brain surgery that my controlling pouch required.
If I had spent time agonizing over how fast I lost weight, then I doubt I would have progressed mentally in dealing with the factors that made me obese and that I lost control of my eating for years.
I hope to have offered something valuable and helpful in this post: Stop focusing on the numbers and focus on the rules of the pouch and the mental changes you must go through as you lose your addiction to food. I believe, as a long-termer, that success comes from THAT expenditure of mental energy. NOT on a scale.
The reality is this: the weight comes off only if you are following the rules. If you're doing that then quit fretting. Months from now you will smack yourself upside the head for all the fruitless worrying you did right now.
This may sound rude (I hope it doesn't); it is simply honest and straight from the heart. Because I read sooooo many posts from so many people agonizing over the "slow" weight loss and it makes me sad and angry. Because it's a waste of energy and emotions. It DISTRACTS people from the mental aspects of change that are required. And I think it perpetuates the self-defeatist attitude we gained along with our weight. And that is one of the parts of brain surgery that we need to do post-op.
Defeat our self-defeatist attitudes.
This surgery will lead to success if you follow the rules. All of the rules. It will happen but it TAKES TIME. If you gained all the weight during a lifetime, how can you expect to lose it all overnight?????? You can't. And you shouldn't expect to.
So PLEASE stop agonizing over this sort of situation and focus on the job at hand: working hard at 'working the pouch' and working on your mind. That's what you have to do for success. Your body has many reasons for the rate you lose weight. If we remove the option of abusing our pouches then we WILL succeed!
DISCLAIMER: None of these words are written in anger or in the tone of abuse or putting anyone down. I just hate to see people focusing on the negative rather than rejoicing in the POSITIVE.
My motivation to write this is purely out of a desire to help people see how they are screwing themselves up unnecessarily when they focus on the scale's speed. I hope that many people get something of value out of this post and that it offers relief to those who struggle with number-watching.
Peace and encouragement to all!
Reality check on post-op plateaus!
Mary 
Linear Mode
