jenn75

Oh, and now to fill in some gaps of importance (at least in my mind)...

The title of my personal story "But you have such a great personality". That is the story of my life, really. Any time during high school, and then into college, when I was bummed because no guys voiced interest in dating me, my friends told me to hang in there because I had such a great personality, why wouldn't guys like me? Which led me to have very low self-esteem when it came to meeting/picking guys to date. I pretty much would date any guy that showed interest. And I would try like hell to make it work, no matter how much they were not suited for me. In both major relationships of my life, I can say that was very much true. And the engagement from last year? Well, that has since ended. We were to get married this June. It needed to end. I wanted it for all of the wrong reasons. Most everything about our relationship I wanted for the wrong reasons. I ignored my inner voice time and time again. He was a good man with a heart of gold. We just never could agree on much, even perspectives on life, or even how to raise dogs. But, admitting that then was admitting that I was a failure, yet again, in a relationship. So I ignored it all (my inner voice) and pushed him into proposing to me...I had to catch up to all of my married friends, didn't I? What a one track mind I had after that. And we just grew farther and farther apart.