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Momof3 · 12-17-2008, 09:30 AM

my feelings about food change constantly.

I miss those days of not wanting to eat - of just not being hungry. I get really hungry now but nothing ever really satisfies. Well, sometimes it would, or could...but I cant eat it. I take one bite and it has that *ugh* feeling, that pressure in my gut and I'm like "Oh just let me eat a little without getting sick* Something that would satisfy me, make me feel normal.

Then I feel guilty for feeling that way b/c I'm scared I'll ruin everything I've worked so hard for and fall back into those lousy eating habits.

The other day I was so hungry and didnt really have anything to eat in the house but some left over dessert..Well I had a small portion and man did it ever make me sick. I was glad it did b/c it was a kick in the @ss. I just wish that guilt would STICK and I'd not do stupid things like that again.

Then there are times that I eat too much, and too fast, knowing full well I'll have those nasty dry heaves....but I do it anyway.

Then I have times I eat just fine without any problem and I'm like "man I wish this was consistent"

I dont know what the answer is, I think most of my problems are mental - I still have the wrong approach to food, I have to break those nasty food addictions and habits.

I'm seriously considering a liquid diet for a few days to break my beginning dependancy on crap I shouldnt eat...

Sorry for rambling, I know this doesnt make sense but I was trying to just let you know you arent alone in your feelings about food...