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Originally Posted by MamasAsh
I have suffered a transfer addiction to Lortab. I was in a bad car accident last year that caused two of my discs to slip in my back, and that started me on the pills. I had found something that made me happy....kept me going, smiling, and filled a real void in my life during a time when I felt more alone than I ever could have dreamed.
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Hi Ashley, welcome to the forum. I know it can be a HUGE help and I hope you find the support you need here. All you have to do is ask
I hope you know that you're not alone in dealing with transfer addiction. It's very common, and it boils down to what you said that I've put in bold above. Losing food as an option to feel good (that's what it was before right?) left you with a void. I'm sorry you've had to face this, but in all honesty it is progress. Really. Because you've recognized some basic realities about what food was for you. That's the brain surgery we do post-op. You wouldn't have learned this much about yourself if you haven't had surgery! I say this because it's true and because I hope you see that as a positive thing. Because it is. WLS at a young age has given you the ability to face something that many people don't face until they're older. I say kudos to you for that, and I hope you see that as a positive instead of beating yourself up (like you said below).
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Originally Posted by MamasAsh
I have since kicked the addiction to Lortab. I still backslide with Darvocet sometimes, and it definitely concerns me, but am seeking help with a therapist. I want to talk these issues out, not shove them down into myself. I don't want to ever feel alone again.
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EXCELLENT, and it's just what I would advise you to do if you weren't doing it already. See, you've got a maturity and wisdom that many people don't yet have and some never get. Can you think of WLS as a tool for maturity and self-realization, instead of a mistake? I hope so...in time if not now.
Congratulations on fighting the good fight to beat the addiction. If you want to PM me I can tell you that you're not alone in this struggle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamasAsh
I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this. It felt good to write it. I have been so afraid of judgment that I have kept everything inside. I'm not afraid anymore, because the self-loathing I have imposed on myself is 100 times worse than what anyone else can give to me. I would love to find someone else in a similar situation to talk to.
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I'd be happy to talk to you about my similar situation. You sound like me when you say the self-flagellation is enough and you don't need anyone else to judge you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamasAsh
I wish I had known the things I know now, although I am significantly happier!  |
Bottom line is the positive here. Yes, you were short-shrifted in the instruction and help. You've gotten stronger, albeit with struggle, because you had to do this solo. You've got my admiration for that and absolutely no judgment. You're not alone in struggling with this issue post-op, and for what it's worth most all of us had to struggle with it, with or without the support you didn't get.
Keep seeing the therapist and hopefully you can find some additional support here. No one can understand the struggle unless they've had WLS. We understand.