Every single thing you wrote of is what I too went through. And it IS very bizarre and unique.
Nobody who has had WLS can understand this I think. I've found I don't have any contact with anyone from when I was fat. My life changed drastically so that's why. Wasn't by choice but I'd imagine you're going to have to find new friends that know you as the size 6 woman you are.
EVERYTHING you wrote is what I went through and I'd think others did too (others may post the same as I am).
I don't have solutions for you, but I can tell you that somewhere along the way you'll "wake up thin" and realize "Hey! This is ME!" It sinks in, but it takes awhile. And having people who hate on you for changing is just a stumbling block and extra depression you really don't need.
I'd encourage you to redefine your definition of selfish. Not SELF-CENTERED, BUT SELFISH. Because you now have a lot of emotional and mental readjustments to match the body you have after being so obese. It's not as quick as the weight loss. No way Jose. Everyone takes a different amount of time to adapt to their new body. But it will happen. Only if you maintain your weight loss.
I have know people in my life who couldn't accept the new bodies they had and they sabotaged the weight loss and regained. It was sad, but I understand that it was because they could never accept the new body they had. I hope you don't go that route, because I think it's a tragedy. It's swapping your good health and longer life for the immediate gratification of relief from the hard self-examination and work involved in changing your whole view of yourself.
Because that's what we're doing: changing our entire view of ourselves. No easy task sweetheart
