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Originally Posted by SoCalFashionista
So I'm fairly conflicted with something that happened to me last night. I had a get together with some coworkers to celebrate the going away of one of the gals that I work with. Normally I'm extremely good about not snacking when I see things at the buffet table, or even having more than a glass of red wine, but I don't know what came over me last night. I hadn't really eaten much other than a salad with some grilled chicken at about 10 that morning so maybe that's what it was but when I had a piece of chicken at the going away somehow it turned into 2 pieces... and potatoes... and a soda. Sans the soda you wouldn't normally think grilled chicken and skinless potatoes doesn't sound too bad. Well before I continue know that everything I ate WAS FRIED!
I am PreOp so sadly I can get away with more because my body doesn't make me feel like I want to die if I eat the wrong thing but when I got home last night and I looked at how the perfectly fitted black dress pants I wore out of the house were now digging into me, I felt like I failed. I broke down. My husband told me that I don't need to be too hard on myself because I can take this mistake and use it to better my life. I love my husband, I do with my entire heart, but far be it for me to be a little cynical every now and again because he doesn't understand what being fat is. I married the man that no one thought I deserved. Extremely fit and gorgeous, with only one visible flaw... an overweight wife. I hear what he says but didn't really pay attention to it. Again cynical not because I think he's crazy.
Here's my dilema, I felt like I lost my will power completely last night. I weighed myself when I woke up this morning and hadn't even gained an ounce so I shouldn't be too upset. But at the same time, I'm worried that that may be something that carries over after I have my surgery. I know we all have our moments of weakness, but it's my weakness that got me to the weight I am now. Does anyone who has had the surgery have moments like this? I really need advice about this becasue I don't want this to be something that constantly weighs on my mind. Any thoughts would be great.
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I havent read any of the replies so I dont know what others have said BUT...dont beat yourself up for being HUMAN. It's not about being FAT. You were hungry, so you ate. Yes, it wasnt the best choice if you are on a pre-op diet, or trying to lose weight to get approved, but tomorrow is another day, you'll get a chance to compensate for your mistake. I think you ate b/c you were HUNGRY, even skinny people get hungry, you didnt eat b/c you were fat and emotional eating
And about the husband, HONEY!! You are NOT the only flaw your husband has....he apparently has NO flaws, he loves you for YOU, not some number on a scale. You are not defined by how big you are or what size you wear. A good person, or a bad person is not dependant on their BMI!! Again, stop selling yourself short.
This too shall pass, trust me. After surgery, you wont make that mistake, well, not more than once LOL
Cheer up, there are a lot of wonderful people here who know exactly how you feel and know you are selling yourself short and will support you however necessary!!
((I'd try a liver cleanse from GNC for awhile too...it helps your body rid itself of fat deposited in the liver...I took it all during my pre op diet and my surgeon said my liver was NORMAL....go figure, 350# woman with a NORMAL liver.....now why cant my gut follow suit? :sigh:
Anyway......I repeat, stop being so hard on yourself and go give the hubby of yours a big ole smooch and realize you DO deserve him....