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Old 05-04-2008, 11:46 PM   #16 (permalink)
Marella
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Age: 49
Posts: 198
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Oh my, Paul & Beth...

I just needed to read your words right now. I can't stop crying. I don't think I ever stopped being mad at myself for having to do this in the first place! After I snap, I feel so bad and I know it's because I want my misery to have some company. Yes, you're right, in oh so many ways.

I just want that 'get up and go' feeling, I guess the visual "scale" that I'm feeling better and lost at least 1 pound instead of carrying this bloat. My hair is dirty and I can't take a bath or shower.

I know I'm only 4 days post-op, but I feel like I should be swimming oceans, not still feel like I'm beached.

I truly appreciate you sharing with me. When you know that you are not alone in your emotions, than you can overcome.

I have to share what you wrote with my husband (I got the SO, but what's a DH?) so that he knows that I'm not directing at him personally and that I'll do my best to take his support in the most positive way.

Pause, Deep breath and go ON!

Thank you! ! !
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~ Marella

Day 38: short supermarket trip - didn't use a riding cart for the first time in 3 years!
Day 40: hernia pain began
Day 56: tops officially went from 3x to 2x... pants from 2x to 1x
Day 63: Two-terville
Next Challenge: Shopping at Walmart without a riding cart (can't do it yet: walking hurts like heck)




I don't want to know how much I have left to lose -- I find it encouraging to see how far I've come!
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