ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post - Starting Day - 5DPT

Zenomia · 04-29-2008, 05:15 PM

Beth...welcome home. Good to hear it all went well...and by that I mean it's fixed!

Your a trooper, I have to say that!! I hope I have half your hootspa come June!!

Ya know...Doing this is really making me SEE how much JUNK I am actually eating and not really paying attention to. I know every single thing I am craving and wanting to cram in my maw...and have resisted...minus the fruit, simple mistake that. However, I think Chrysalis has it right. If I didn't enjoy these things, I surely wouldn't drink them. I gagged I don't know how many bottles of Isopure down before they finally made me hurl just thinking about them. Finding something that works, gets the needed protein in, and cuts the sugars, fats and so forth into nil amounts...was a real challenge for me. I was not a CARB freak....nope, I'm a sweet freak. I needed my sweet stuff, and I couldn't find anything that was palitable for me, and healthy. These smoothies are just the thing. I don't want those fudgesicles anymore...I don't need to sample this piece of candy or that cookie. I feel like I have been eating 'ice cream' like stuff all day..for two days. To me....that's a treat. That is the thing I have been looking for. I have been trying to find an alternative to help me combat the sugar monster. The dumping, surgery, whatnot can only get you so far....your mind has to pull you through the rest of the way. And I must be of really weak mind, because this was one demon I couldn't get a grip on. I think I can now. I think I can forgo all those "treats" for this new one....sure it's making me a gas pump...if only I could put it in my Tahoe....but it's a healthier alternative to what I was doing.

I have also learned that I can go 3 hours without chewing on something. For some reason I had myself convinced that I couldn't survive unless I was eating something frequently. What a load of crap! I wasn't ever 'hungry'...just 'needed' to eat a little of this or a little of that. Keeping me from eating a TRUE portion at meal times, making me eat less, which made me hungry an hour later, so I would snack or pick at meals throughout the day. This is what I did before surgery. I grazed all day long....and like Beth pointed out in one of her posts...grazing doesn't seem like eating, so even though you are taking the calories of a 3+ full meals, it feels like you haven't eaten a thing all day.

Why, WHY do I keep jumping back into the same stupid behaviors? I was "cured" I swear I was!!! Now here I am doing the same dumb stuff all over again??

Jeeze...at least I can say that I see it, I own it, and I am fixing it. If I have to put myself through this test every 6 months to keep me on track, then so be it. I am tired of finding excuses for myself...time to just take my smoothie, drink it, and like it.

You'all know I am just ranting to hear myself, right? I just needed to SEE myself say these things to that idiot that runs my brain....You got that right? You didn't think I was poking a finger at anyone other than myself did you? I hope not....This is how I roll.....