happiness101

I'm sure this is natural but it really freaked me out and has me questioning EVERYTHING about the surgery. Any feedback would be so appreciated.

I'm scheduled for LGB surgery on May 8th. After leaving my psych eval (where all went well - no stress) I got on the elevator and the thought that I was going to die hit me hard. All I could think was that my son (10 and mildly disabled) would not survive without me. I started feeling guilty for even considering surgery and by the time the elevator hit my floor I was an emotional wreck. I eventually talked myself "off the ledge" but I still have flash backs to how devastating the feeling was. I have four children and I can't quit beating myself up for even considering this path. My husband is very supportive and has pointed out that I am not in a very high risk category (38 and no serious co-moridities). My surgeon echoed this sentiment when I talked to him about my fears. He says this is normal and I'm sure it is but I am still torn up with guilt. I spent hours looking up mortality statistics surrounding the surgery and so I have a very clear idea - and have pretty much convinced myself - that death is not around the corner. But the guilt is still overwhelming at times. Someone please tell me that I'll still be a good mother (maybe even better?) and that my family will not suffer (providing I don't die) from this decision. I'd like to hear from anyone who can relate. Thank you.