Regarding your thread title.....Isn't that what one wants in a wife.??
I kid.
I'm sorry she's not supportive and there for you right now. That is what you need after surgery.
But I also understand needing space. Perhaps your wife is an Air sign?? I very much value my "alone time" and I seldom get it.
On the day of my birthday I woke up to find that D had scheduled a vacation day without telling me. I had envisioned a solitary day all to myself. I exploded in anger as I dressed to take Ash to school. He tried to explain that he just wanted to spend my birthday with me. I responded with something like yes MY Day I want to spend it my way and since it's MY day you get your ass up and take Ash to school. And I went back to bed. I did take my alone time. I had scehduled a hair appointment and then also went for a pedi and mani. I couldnt do it at home because he can't stand the smell of fingernail polish remover.
You mentioned that your wife also had surgery. How was her recovery? Perhaps she feels that she did not get the support she expected and is now reacting in kind. I know that I was prone to taking looong walks to speed my recovery but the majority of those walks took place when Dan was home. Some people just need space no matter how much they love you.
You guys should talk it out. Sounds like there is something more to her snapping at you. An underlying anger.