ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post - how do you help motivate someone ruled by fear?

Gina in NY · 04-02-2008, 06:11 PM

For me - it was about the voices. (John turns and slowly backs away) No really. The fact is, we all have this part of ourselves that is REALLY fearful and negative. It is in there - even the best of us. My cycling coach said it best when he said, "We all have that part of us that would be happy if we died later this afternoon."

I tell people all the time who are telling me how amazing I am for how hard I work and the success and blah b-blah, b-blah - the line between success and failure is very, very thin. When I am on that treadmill, on the bike, whatever - every negative thought my intellect can come up with is in there. The voices are loud and clear, "You're too old, you're too fat, you didn't eat right, you haven't trained enough for this, your leg hurts, you're going to have a heart attack, people are staring at you, you deserve a nap...." It goes on and on and on. It does not stop. Furthermore, some of these things are have some truth to them, BUT - here is the fine line between success and failure:

I succeed because I hear the voices, but I do not obey them. They do not rule me. I put my body on auto pilot, turn up the ipod and let those thoughts go by like breezes.

THE only person who can keep you from success is yourself. Success is very intimidating. We think we don't deserve it - we are afraid to be so great. But honestly - and this all came together for me at the same time - God wants us to be our best and it is a testiment to our love for
Him that we allow ourselves to succeed, knowing it is Him who gives us that strength. (That can be translated into any belief system of course. It is the universe, the goddess - whatever is out there is what fuels us and lends us the power and permission to do what we could not do on our own.)

I trust my body to be smarter than my mind when it comes to athletic things. I didn't always, but I learned to with time. I told myself - what is the worst that can happen? I push hard, and if it is too much, my body will stop me - not my mind now, but my body.

And of course the wonderful things you've said to me have helped me so much, and she'll get those too. How many times did you say the same thing to me, over and over...must have driven you crazy and suddenly I'm saying it to you, like it is something new. She just has to get through it. And you, John - have to keep saying it - over and over - just like you did for me. Think I'd have run a 10K before work this morning without you helping me get there? right... Think I'd have believed my nutritionist was, in your words, "A moron" for telling me GBP patients don't acheive normal weight? You got me through all that and believed in my ability to push to the absolute end long before I did. You told me truth that smacked me around and refused to allow me to settle for anything less than my absolute best. Did I struggle - heck yea - but you kept pushing me and God bless you for it.

And now, here I am. Closer to the Gina God intended me to be than ever before in my life. This is good - and you helped get me there. Yes you did. You make your own decision about continuing with her or not, but I believe you will reach her.

Like St. Teresa watering the dead rose bush - seems futile - and suddenly - it isn't. Patience. Obedience. Good stuff.