szmalik

Hello Everyone,

Well its been a month in this journey. The first 2 weeks were hard with the pain and all, the second half of the month was a lot better. I have lost 25lbs so far. I still wonder if I did the right thing having this surgery. I dont know who else to share all this with, but my fellow posters. I am able to eat a lot more than 4 oz per meal, and that worries me. I know everyone talks about not feeling hungry, but I do, some times it is head hunger, but some times its actual hunger. Before my sugery, I would stop at MCdonalds drive-through eveyday for breakfast, egg/cheese biscuit w/2 hashbrowns, 3 cookies and diet coke, for lunch, a tv dinner or burger or fries, and then after I would pick up the kids, would stop at drive through, since I am south-asian,(Born in Pakistan, but raised in USA) dinner would consist of me making chicken or lamb curries or other veggie type of curry, woul sometimes eat with rice or pita bread or with spoon. After kids in bed, would then eat one pint of ice cream of different flavors every night. And during the day, would have a 2 snacks per day of a candy bar or small bags of chips. The only good thing I did was drink a lot of water, and always make veggies for dinner.
Now after my surgery, I eat dannon low carb yogurt, vanilla custard flavor, doesnt have sugar, and its 60 calories with zero carbs and no sugar. For lunch i ususally eat yogurt while working, then by the time I pick the kids up around 3:30pm, I am literally starving, I sometimes eat half a protein bar, or some soy chips, or sometimes, i know, i know, some potato chips, i do look at calories. Then when I get home, I feed the kids there snacks, and I eat some almonds or drink an organic protein smoothie which has about 20 grams of protien, for dinner, I eat some rice with curry, or lentils with rice, not a whole lot, but still more than 4 oz, sometimes I have around 6-8 oz of pasta, and before going to bed, I make myself drink 40oz of blendable protein drink, which I hate and eat my vitamins. I also drink cambell soups on the weekends, any flavor that I like. But I still feel guilty cause everyone is eating a lot less than me. I know I am not eating a 1000 calories of pint size ice cream everyday, or over 1500 calorie junk fast food, or 1000 calorie junk snacks, so why do I stll fail like such a fraud and a fake? i feel like I am not a true WLS survivor. When people say, i look great, or how bad they feel for me, cause I am eating less than a bird, I say nothing, I know that I am eating a lot more than some damn bird. Can anyone relate to what I am going through? I have to wait another 10 days before I get permission from surgeon to excerise, but just thinking about that, makes me uneasy. I hope i dont offend anyone with my post.

Sasha
295-270-150