hey everyone, I'm new here, and I am amazed, and inspired by the pictures!
Everyone is so gorgeous!
I found this board accidently, I am 250 lbs (OUCH). I am not ready for such a big step to go into surgery, but I'm decreasing calorie intake.
I wonder how many calories do you eat post surgery?
I dont have anyone to tell about it, and it seems like you guys will understand me?
Sorry for the rant, but I need to get it out there
Basically i am really down. I'm 22, still living with my parents, my mom is diabetic what is hereditary in our family, and theres a high possibility I may have or already have dabetes. My mom makes mean comments about my weight all the time, basically any time I enter the kitchen to get food and she seems me there, she says aomething about my fatness, or how pretty i would be if i werent this fat. Right now I'm at the point where I dont want her to see me, especially in teh kitchen and with any kind of food.
My mom is 180, and today she asked my dad to tell "us" who is thinner, it's depressing, thank god my dad didnt say anything. Then shes surprised I dont wnat to talk about my problems, and that everything is taboo for me, how am supposed to talk to you when you make all the depressing comments about my body, like it is the end of the world.
But the problem is not only her stupid comments, but because she's the one who buys the sweets and junk food all the time.
She went away for a month, it was me and my dad, my self confidence went up, no one was buying junky food, life was great, then she comes and all I hear is my weight, my body, how i dont take care of myself. After not eating sweets for a month, she comes with thousnds of calories in sweets, then she comes home with 2 pints of ice cream, while there were still sweets uneaten. I basically threw away 5000+ calories of sweets, and some of them were really good. But anyway here she is making all those comments, and then she buys that. Today she made FRENCH FRIES, like WTF I threw away half of them, but still you dont make french fries for an obese daughter, and then comment her on her weight. Especially when I didnt even mentioned i wanted french fries. I think I get a comment about my weight every single day.
It makes me really depressed. I see she cares, but why she buys all the unhealthy stuff? I think she wants to be thinner than I am. I seriosuly don't know what to think, I see the smirk on her face... I'm really confused.
I feel like I am her product, since i was a kid she never said i cant have this or that, and i ate and ate, sometimes 10 ice cream a day.
i hate living in this body, and i know that shes the one who poisons it, because i dont even crave sweets this much when nothing is home, but she buys them all the time, i can see on her face how happy she is when she bring shitty food while it makes me really sad, and I cant control myself not to touch it.
i dont where I'm going with this post. i just feel like a failure...
I wish I could ust stop eating.