Deb, in the past you buried your feelings, anger and pain in food. It was your source of escape. But now that has been taken away from you. For possibly one of the first times in your life you have to allow yourself to actually "feel". It's no wonder your past is rearing its ugly head again. You may just have to actually allow yourself to "feel" it all in order to finally heal.
I've never walked in your shoes but I remember how LisaM talked about having to face her past after she lost her weight. If you ever want to talk to her let me know. I have her email.
Hang in there sweetie....try to look at this as a step towards healing because I honestly think it is.
__________________
~Beth~
Little Victories; Grand Rapids, MI
Bariatric Support Group
Diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, high cholesterol,
peripheral vein disease, joint pain and 210 lbs GONE!! 
Century Club: July 3, 2006
ONE-derland: Dec. 22, 2006
Double Century: May 29, 2007
Goal: June 15, 2008
Lap RNY: 1/30/06-Dr Randal Baker
TT/BL: 09/21/07-Dr Ronald Ford
PS Revisions: 04/29/08-Dr Ronald Ford
Gallbladder: 05/14/08-Dr Randal Baker
Emergency surgery (Intussusception): 02/29/09-Dr James Foote
"...if we pay attention to the fact that we can move,
breathe, feel, laugh, cry and notice sunsets,
there IS cause for joy." 
- Geneen Roth
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