Ed,
I used to have a crystal habit about 20 years ago. Before that it was pot, before that it was something else. But during all the that it was men. And addiction is an addiction. We are all addicted to food that's why we had to have surgery.
Now for the past 5 years I have teaching christ centered 12 step same as AA just with Christ as the higher power. I love it. I love being with real people. I know that it is only by the grace of God that I am currently in an addiction. I know it is only by the grace of God that I am not in a bottle drowding my life past problems. So for today I choose to be free from my compulsive addictive behaviors. I chose to do positive things with my time. But I also chose to look at my past for what is was, past. I have to chose to feel the emotions in a safe enviroment and get past it. If I don't feel the feeling and work through it my past will continue to control me. It has controlled me enough.
Ed keep up the good fight. You are worth fighting for. You deserve to be happy. You are a wonderful beautiful person and you deserve freedom. Fight for it my friend. It is not easy, it is hard. The best things is life are hard to get but worth every step of the battle.
Chin up bottle down.
__________________
Barbara Johanning
01-14-05, Potts Open
5'4" 247/157/140 -90
BMI 43.7/now 26.9
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