Once you lose weight, those fat cells are stills in our bodies. They do have the tendency to want to be fed. Weight gain for a formally obese person is easy. You can't beat yourself up. Isn't this the cycle that we all live through...sadness, eating the wrong foods or overeating, guilt and more sadness, eating again...you can't let this cycle win in your mind. You can't let other people tell you your truth...you know what is going on. You can't seclude yourself either. It really sounds like you have a lot of anxiety and maybe some depression. If you are working on the phone for 10 hours a day...that could make anyone feel depressed. Can you join a gym or some exercise group. There is a website called spark people. There may be a local support group in your community that you can join for free. These would be new people, people who have never met you but who are also on a journey for weight loss. Please give yourself a break and don't allow these thoughts to dictate your life.
Sorry I had terrible spelling in my previous post, but start a search for a good therapist. You definitely DESERVE it. Just don't seclude yourself! I feel your struggle and am concerned about your well being. Understand that you do not deserve to live that kind of life!
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Angela Blake
Grand Rapids, MI.
Surgery: 12/27/2007
Loss to date: 39 pounds! 
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