ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post

Vim&Vigour · 12-26-2007, 05:36 PM

Hello Kenneth!

Welcome to our wonderful Forum - this is a real family home!
I am only 3 weeks post surgery. However, how I see my surgery is that I look to this Forum for support for myself in my wls journey and am thrilled if I have any experience that I can share.
The people on here are all in a similar situation, as if consulting a whole team of "experts". Warts and all are discussed here with "virtual" strangers but who have true insiders' knowledge. Those who have disappeared are the cyclists who have managed to cycle off without stabilisers, taken the highway code and may even have taken themselves off on cycling expeditions. Those cyclists will always be interested in what/who is coming up behind them, trying to pick up tips and tricks to improve their own excellent performance as procedures evolve... Even if you drive a car you are thrilled with and that has been reliable for you, you'll no doubt always enjoy looking at a superior car or watch the revised lines of a simpler model which also has its merits.
I discussed my intended wls with only my inner core of reliable friends. Once I had taken my decision to proceed, I told all my supporters. To all other individuals, I only tell on a "need to know" basis.
I'm 50 years old, more than half way through my life. This surgery will carry its impact to the end of my days. As a self-pay, I have spent a damn lot of money on it, I have "invested" heavily into my future - I'll be looking for life-long payback and interest!
The physical scars will take a matter of months to heal. The emotional scars will stay life-long. I will have unwitting reminders of my "past", people I'll encounter who'll "remember' me as I was (am) before... Those are "fractures" of my Life. But those flaws have nothing to do with my surgery. Surgery was a technique for me to solve that past "luggage' I have spent the better part of my life trailing after me. I am the same book, not a new chapter but rather a new volume of the same work...
You could call it a new identity, made up of familiar ingredients. If you were to move, once slimmed down, to a totally new area and never discuss your "previous" weight, nobody would know unless you told them. You could chose to "hide" the fat side if you wanted or not....
25 years ago I married my first cousin. The fact that we were cousins was very much at the forefront of my mind for a good 10 years... Today, the fact that we are cousins is a topic that falls very low down in our conversation with new encounters. In 25 years we have built up a wealth of other experiences which are far greater in interest or importance to the fact that we are related. Our priorities have shifted as our experiences have developed. Cousinhood is incidental to the overall picture.
I can imagine my wls to develop on similar lines... The next 5 years I'll no doubt be very aware of my surgery and tell the world about it... Thereafter, transformed by the weight off, newly acquired pursuits, exercise regime, the focus will change to my new life occupations...
Do you remember how dominant your first job(s) was at the time? Now that very job is somewhere in the basement of your experiences....
Have you ever lost someone special? Did you ever grieve and mourn? Loss hurts, you learn to live without the beloved and gradually life takes on a new, normal course of activity, without that person, yet never forgetting him/her either... I would suggest that your weight loss surgery and journey would be pretty close to that...
Long winded, but.. I hope you'll find your own answer and confidence.
You'll be fine!
Cheers!
Vim