ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post

janine · 12-22-2007, 11:05 PM

Hi,
my dh did not want me to have the surgery either. He said it was too drastic and that there must be a better way. I listend to him and told him why I wanted the surgery and what my fears were. My fear was that I would die before ever doing the things I wanted to, my blood pressure was so high I needed to take meds but my liver was effected by the meds, I was borderline diabetic, my sleep apnea was causing me to not want to go places, my back pain prevented me from walking too much, I didn't want to die young, I didn't want to loose him or our relationship because I would change, would he still love me, did he marry me because I was large, could we stand a lifestyle change, ect. He understood why I wanted the surgery but still fealt it was too extreme. He worried about it all. went to the seminars and kept quiet. Never wanted to talk to the doctor, Never showed an incling of a thought that he changed his mind. He stood by me at the hospital, took a week of of work to care for me post-op, helped me through all the pain, I fealt very cared for. after a few days post-op I gave him a hug and told him, "thanks, I truely feel cared for" He only smiled. He has not stated that he changed his mind. He has come to terms with it now, the surgery is done and I'm loosing the weight. We will have to deal with all my fears and his eventually, but for now I think he respects my decision, after all it was mine to make. We don't always agree on everything but respect each other just the same. He is intitled to his view point, But in the end it's my body, health and well being.
I sugest you just let his opinion stand. You don't have to force him to change it. You can reasure him that you are doing your research and that you love him and hope he respects your decision. If he continues to be adimate on the negative, let it be! Do what you have to do either decision that you make. In the end it's yours to make.