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nextbigloser · 12-21-2007, 06:27 AM

I debated if I should post this because I don't like to air my dirty laundry but I could use a friend right now.

I have posted in the past that me and my DH had some troubles in the past. I thought that we had got past them and were on the right track but now I am doubting myself.

He works on the road during the week and home on weekends which can be hard on a marriage but we have managed. We separated last year and reconciled, had marriage counseling. When he moved back we had separate checking accounts. He told me that my responsibility was the rent payment and he would pay utilities. I argued that it wasn't fair but it never changed. We bought a new van a few months ago and guess who has to make the payments, me. I was upset last night explaining that I don't have enough money to pay for the rent, van, and student loans with this pay check and I have 3 kids that I have not even started xmas shopping for. He said they were my kids and if I wanted to buy gifts for them I had to come up with the money.

I asked him to help out with the other bills then and he said I am tired of bailing you out. I was like what you live hear too. Then he said if I wasn't spending so much money at the doctors I would have money to pay for other things and then he said it "I don't even want you to have the surgery." There it is. He was the one who told me to check into it. Thats all he has talked about. How good I will look and how much better I will feel.

After he said everything I think he felt bad. I won't swear to it but he then wanted to sit down and figure out the bills so that he could help. He was trying to rub my back and be nice but I was so upset all I could say was don't touch me.

Tonight we leave for his parents house for xmas. I have to go down there and put on a happy face and get through the holidays for the kids. I guess I am just looking for some advice. I don't know what to do anymore.