ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post

Debz · 09-03-2007, 03:53 PM

As some of you know, I'm battling my own buyer's remorse at the moment. I've mentioned the hematoma I have from surgery and how painful it is. I've never been is such sustained pain for so long before in my life, and I cannot explain to you how difficult it is to live like this and how depressing it is to not know how long this is going to last.

In addition to this complication, I've been at a weight loss standstill for 11 days now. It's kind of like getting what you really wanted for Christmas, and then having it break 10 minutes into playing with it. It's rather disconcerting.

All of that being said...here's how it all shakes down for me. My family history is full of obesity, diabetes, amputations due to diabetes, heart disease....it's a cornucopia of obesity related co-morbidities. I myself have diabetes, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, degenerative disc disease etc,etc,etc....

My willingness to have surgery indicates my admission to myself that my weight was out of control and that I felt unable to control it on my own. So, did I want to sit around and wait for the shit storm of major complications to hit? I wasn't able to lose weight on my own, and I felt like I was sitting on the tracks waiting for the 12:45 train to come blazing through, pulverizing me on the way by.

I made the decision to be proactive and try to do something very drastic to change my fate. The question is, however, did I avoid the 12:45 and set myself up for the 1:15? I find the idea of someone having absolutely no complication at all almost ludicrous...how can you surgically re-route your digestive system without any negative sequalae? ButI knew that going in...

So, to tie it all up....GBS is serious buisness. It has serious side effects and potentially life threatening complications. It's a gamble either way and a VERY personal decision....and one that can't be taken back. Even with a reversal, you can't change the experience that lead up to the reversal.

I did tons of research before my surgery and felt very well informed. To be honest...in all the research I did, I never read a word about a hematoma like I have...but to continue being honest....it wouldn't have changed my mind. Because I was determined to do this to myself. And all I can say is that the promise of a shining new me blinded me to some of the potential outcomes.
It was easy to gloss them over and charge forth.

So....do I think I made a mistake? Dunno yet. I'm hoping this whole hematoma thing resolves soon...it'll be easier to decide. Would I do it again? Ask me in a week, a month, a year. Today, I'm not sure.

My whole point? (I realize I've been wordy and that my point may have been lost here). Newbies....THINK! CONSIDER! MULL! RESEARCH! And don't delude yourself into thinking this is a cake walk. Cuz it ain't.