Thanks for the support, I know it sounds like a weak thank you.. I'm just plain worn out. I know in my heart you are right Paige. As I said I know I don't get to quit, I only get to keep waking up and hoping this nightmare is going to end soon. I probably shouldn't have waited this long.. but realistically I wasn't well enough before now anyway. I'm trying to think positive thoughts at this time even though I hope I won't wake up after surgery. Again I don't think I have a choice.. so I will keep thinking about all the people who have told me everything is going to be ok and try and dream of happier times.... J
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