Quote:
Originally Posted by Omega
Hey all,
I am going in for the operation this friday and my wife is having abandonment issues. She feels that I am going to be "leaving her behind".
Of everyone who is here and married or has a significant other who is larger as well, after your surgery did that help them to lose weight, stay the same, or gain more weight??
I am feeling guilt over this and she is NOT trying to make me feel that way, we were just discussing our feelings (wow what a non-john wayne thing to say huh  ) and this has come up a few times but thought she would feel different once the time got closer. And I am that we are expecting a baby in February is not helping her either, just looking for some helpful info for both of us.
Thanks!
J |
Why are you having surgery? To be healthy and live a long life with her and your new baby. So that you can be strong and healthy and not a burden to her later in life - whatever your reasons. This is for her too!
My husband said the other day that I'm getting all gorgeous and would leave him for a younger man. I was so shocked - "Who do you think I'm trying to be more attractive for? Some man I dont' know or my husband of 15 years??" That helped him see that maybe this was about him too.
Also, I've spent 14 months with the whole family being focused on me - my gym time, my food etc. Now things are much more calm for me - I'd like to lose 24-28 more pounds, but I'm in no hurry. So I told my DH that this year is his to get in shape. He isn't quite big enough for RNY, though he could do the band, but he most likely won't.
The point is, my DH needs to be reminded all the time that I'm doing this, first of course for me, but also for our whole family. I've said it more than once, to be sure, but it has made things much easier.
After you wife has had the baby and thing settle down there, she may be ready to join you on your journey to health and fitness. It can't really happen at the same time with the baby on the way, but it can happen.