If you are determinded not to do therapy, then let me tell you some things I've learned going through some of these issues, though it was long ago.
There is a very close relationship between fear and rage. Men, when they are afraid, will turn it to rage and women, when feeling rage, will often turn it to fear. These are gross over generalizations, but fear is allowed and socially acceptable in women and we will tend toward this rather than realize the power of our "negative" emotions - which is how many women view anger and rage. (Many of us have been very intimidated by angry people, so we fear anger)
I say this, because as I was overcoming fear (when I learned to ride a motorcycle too, by the way) I was led by a wonderful therapist through this maze of fear I'd created to my rage. The fact was, I was pissed as hell at the world and how it treated me. I was uncomfortable with that feeling of rage and hatred - but fear was okay. Only it was paralyzing me. I too was afraid to leave the house, afraid of people, afraid of too much to list here - it was ridiculous. The thing that clued me in is how irrational some of the fears were. I mean, if you're walking through a bad part of NYC, wearing a lot of expensive jewlery and not much clothing - you should be afraid. But in your own house? In Iowa?? Please... Something is going on beyond fear for you, I believe.
Which isn't to say you don't have fears too - I also took up martial arts at this same time of my life when I learned to ride a motorcycle. I also did some really crazy things that you can't do as a mother, to slap my fear in the face and prove to it that I was master. But it wasn't that I learned not to be afraid, I learned to fear and do it anyway.
I live without fear mostly, but when I have it, it just sits there on the sidelines. It does not change my course. You don't eliminate it, but recognize it, and let it sit and watch you. It does not have to dictate your actions. It is when you tense up and try to resist it that it most certainly will take you down. Fear is an emotion - you can't stop it. You learn to live with it.
In the Dune series, the Ben Geserit have this chant thing that says, "Fear is the mind-killer" and it is so true. You can not think when you are afraid - you are in fight or flight mode.
So - I don't know if this is helpful at all. But things may not be a simple as you think they are. There are also hormonal influences - your whole adrenaline, cortosol pathways are part of the scene. Paranoya can actually be a sign of nutritional deficiency.
Don't over simplify your situation - I think it is very complex and is more than "a tool" away from resolution. This crap takes practice - I remember well.
You can PM me too - now that I've spilled my guts here..
But this is doable. You can learn to make this work. Don't worry. It is a pain in the butt, but you will get there.