Now that I'm a year out, you'd think I knew something about how to eat, but I swear, I know so little, it drives me crazy.
The deal is, I set myself up at home and a work and I eat right 95% of the time there. But this past week, we went to Vermont to sell our house and stayed in hotel, eating out for every single meal for four days and guess what - I have no idea how to eat and I HATE it!
Almost every meal I ended up eating just a little too much, making me really uncomfortable, but not enough to actually throw up. That would have been better! As I usually had to go lift heavy things or clean or whatever to get the house ready for the new owners.
And I'm stupid and slow and I don't learn! So first morning at hotel, continental breakfast - great - I get a Lite and Fit yogurt (one of those little ones) , this, mini omlette thing and a slice of 12 grain toast - fine. Eat yogurt, eat omlette, and think, I'm a little full! Eat toast anyway - I mean it is good for you right? No - it is not!! ouchy pouchy. So next morning, I get yogurt, omlette and bran muffin...Why do I think this will be different - so you already know, I ate all three things and was miserable again. Third day - no omlette, but I started drinking my decaf before I'd finished, just so I'd feel miserable again...PULEEZE - what the heck is wrong with me?? Why can I not look at a certain amount of food and know if it will be too much? I've been doing this for a YEAR! and I have no idea what I'm doing.
Okay - I do know a few things - no hot dogs, no hamburgers, no honey, no maple syrup, nothing like bacon or sausage or anything. No white flour buns or bread - it is like eating a brick. All these things have made me throw up so I don't eat them. But eating too much is very bad too and it makes me mad.
Now - lunch on the second last day - get chinese and I'm eating beef and string beans (trying to get that iron up) after about 6 bites, I'm feeling REALLY bad so I stop. I tell hubby I'm feeling awful and he tells me the string beans have been deep fried. (He can tell by looking at them) Why can't I see that - why can't I taste how greasy it is because I know greasy does me in!!
I am just so disgusted. I feel like I've learned almost nothing in a year. I keep going out there and eating like who I was and not who I am. It is like I need to start over with a list of things I can eat and not waver from it.
Of course, I gained a couple pounds, but I wasn't drinkning any water, so I'm not too worried about it, but the constant pain is SO uncool.
I did have ONE meal, only one in four days, where I ate well. After closing, with the huge check in my purse, we went out for sushi and I ate just enough. Those Japanese know something about good portion sizes!
Anyway, I am very upset with myself. I need to go to gastric bypass food by site identification of bad stuff and quantities for you class.
And now - I feel so sick. All day I've felt like crap - my pouch is pissed off, nothing I eat is okay. I'm throwing in the towel today. Tea and protein shakes for the rest of the day.
And I have surgery in a week. Great!
Grrrrrr
