What an amazing trip!
It started as a dream to fulfill and ended up a trip about resolving the past and creating new futures. I had wanted to do a big road trip since I was about 15. I had wanted to do it as part of the summer I graduated from high school. Didn't work out then. Almost 20 years later, I was able to do it.
It is quite unbelievable that I was able to do this trip. There were times I wanted to just turn around and go back. I was by myself on long stretches of empty roads. I got rerouted as many roads were closed due to construction, fires, and accidents. Temperatures ranged from 42 to 106. Altitudes of below sea level to to the 9000 ft peak of the Grand Tetons. I slept at rest stops and roadside hotels. I also saw the most gorgeous sights ever!
The first destination of my trip was to see my best friend of 20 years. We met at 14 and went through a bunch of crap the past 20 years. There was a time that I hurt her pretty bad and circumstances dictated that we didn't talk for many years. We tried to reconcile 10 years ago and then she moved to WA. I visited once 8 years ago ago and that didn't go well. We went another 2 years without a word from her. I kept emailing and calling. Then a few emails got through and we briefly stayed in touch.
Imagine how crazy it was to call her a few weeks ago and said I wanted to visit her. She said sure and that I could stay at her place. It was nerve wracking that first 1400 mile drive to her place. Can we really be friends again? What has happened the past 8 years? So many questions.....all the fears melted away when we saw each other! We cried and hugged and jumped up and down. We spent 3 days catching up, comparing stories, and forgiving each other. We traveled similar paths and were able to talk freely and honestly about how it was.....and make plans for a bright future without the baggage from the past. That was utterly amazing and not what I was expecting to occur.
The next several portions of my trip went smoothly...visited another friend in WA, then did some sightseeing through WY and AZ. Plenty more driving and meeting new friends along the way. Then I ended up at my hometown in Tucson AZ.
The next part is simply unbelievable and totally unreasonable to expect to occur. Like many women, I was molested as a child. As you can imagine, those events affected my life for decades to come, driving many of my decisions about life and holding me back from fully expressing myself as who I am.
During this visit, I met up with the person who abused me. I had contacted him last year to say that I wanted to resolve things and put the past to rest. We spent over 3 hours hashing through it all. He was open and honest about what he did, how he tried to justify his actions, and the guilt he lived with the past 20 years. I was able to forgive him 100% and can see him as a human being, not as the monster that I made him out to be. It is indescribable the freedom and peace that I have as a result of confronting my fears and the past, putting it all to rest, and able to let go to move on with my life. I have heard about the power of forgiveness.....to experience it is divine indeed!
I see that nothing is impossible in life. A whole new world has opened up to me. I can't wait to see how life will turn out now!
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