This is so hard to admit - Page 6 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

I_love_Hello Kitty · 05-18-2009, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

Our addiction was to how it felt to overuse food, either through sheer amounts or through the bugaboo of sugary/salty carbohydrates, almost always mixed with fats. I've never seen anyone come on here and say "I was addicted to protein." Just doesn't happen...

What I'm trying to say is that, if you feel you must look at it like fatty/salty/sugared carbs are the dragon and you are the dragonslayer, that's understandable. But by investing all that emotion (love it, hate it, still emotion) and the energy it takes to avoid it (not watching food porn), you're still giving food the power to reshape your life (and your butt, incidentally).

It's not a matter of willpower--"I will not eat a Turtle today!" It's a matter of "I don't need it, so there's no reason to eat it." Calm, serene, shrugging reaction. Oh, and "Move on, all you people that are watching me to see if I'm going to gain the weight back, there's nothing to see here." Not exciting, not some epic battle, just "No, thanks."

Make sense?

The ability to take or leave food is what I strive to get to on a daily basis. I don't actually get there every single day, week, month and year. But every time I get to that place in my head, it gets a little easier to get there the next time, and the next. It's a journey, baby, not just a destination.

Lisa,
This is SO right on.

I have been finding that its the bad habits of 1.) mindless eating and 2.) USING the food to feel good (as you put it, how it FEELS to use the food).

So recently to get on track again, I have been trying to use that feeling of being able to walk away (when I was in the honeymoon phase),

DO WE REMEMBER THIS???? We need to remember that feeling and bring it back

...because feeling like the food is not a temptation is SOOOO empowering and helps breeds my success. And then giving in to any mindless eating or using the food to self-sooth, is what makes me move backwards.

bridgetgirl · 05-18-2009, 09:56 AM

My name is Bridget and I have an eating disorder.

Deb and Lisa M;

Wonderful posts! Marvelous even, this is why I hang onto TT and my WLS peeps, they bring me strength, and I gain comfort knowing that my struggle is the struggle of many other wonderful people. I am not a monster, I am not hopeless, I have an eating disorder to face using the steps and day by day.

Thank you for being here for all of us and showing us who you really are, scared shitless like the rest of us in maintenance!

((HUGS))

white_tiger · 05-18-2009, 10:10 AM

I think you just made your first step towards fixing this! You know what you have to do, you have the support and I have no doubt you can do this. Good for you for putting your foot down and saying enough is enough. If more of us did that when we were 10 pounds past our "limit" then maybe we wouldn't be here at all right? Best of luck to you.

paige52 · 06-13-2009, 07:31 AM

Congrats on your post and your complete honesty.... Its a hard, sucky, no fun thing to do but you did it.

I think you and I are the only ones on here that converted from VBG to RNY and can understand how dramatically that initial failure effects us.

I still weight myself weekly and adjust my intake accordingly to stay between 120 & 125. My slip up is Good & Plenty. I only buy one package a month and make it last.... 3 is just enough to feed the sugar beast and not do the damage!

Hang i there girlfriend and like all addicts take it one day at a time! If you can find it in you and want to give it a try... food anonymous.... it helps to understand why the beat has me.....

The surgery is just a tool, one we can't use if we dont' understand why we need it!

BillH · 06-13-2009, 04:24 PM

Your honesty is much appreciated, Deb. Yep, we all do stuff we regret. But remember, NOW is NOW--and forget about the past indiscretions and just hang in there. I did something similar to your ginger snaps with lime-flavored taco chips a few days back.

I think we I do stuff like that, I have a harder workout, and then I get on with life!

Starlitabyss · 06-13-2009, 08:33 PM

Thank you so much. I was feeling so alone and to read your post made me feel like we all go through hard times, it only matters how we handle them.

ConstructionChick · 06-23-2009, 01:04 PM

Just wondering how everyone is doing. I got myself back on track by tracking my eating religiously on livestrong.com (the new daily plate). I've lost 5 of the lbs I re-gained previously. My husband, although not really changing his eating habits, is becoming more conscious of the "cost" (nutritionally) of what he is eating. It's been great for the whole family! I hope everyone else is getting back on track too.

Linda in MN · 06-23-2009, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paige52

I still weight myself weekly and adjust my intake accordingly to stay between 120 & 125. My slip up is Good & Plenty. I only buy one package a month and make it last.... 3 is just enough to feed the sugar beast and not do the damage!
!

I don't think ONE Good and Plenty a month is a slip up!

Godsblessedme · 07-03-2009, 01:58 PM

how are you doing Deb?

Debz · 07-03-2009, 08:01 PM

I'm maintaining around 131. I can't seem to get under 130, but then I also can't seem to string more than 3 "good" days together. I'm struggling with feeling guilty about what I eat and trying to decide that food is just food, and to quit torturing myself with my own mind.

I really want to get back to eating the way I should, but life has been really hitting me hard and fast lately, and it's hard to re-commit myself to eating like a thin person. I'm feeling kind of defeated. Of course, part of me realizes that feeling defeated after losing 120 pounds is ridiculous...

I want some mental clarity on all of this...but it seems to escape my grasp like smoke. I'm not giving up though. Sorry to sound like such a downer. But it's where I'm at right now. What's up with the rest of you?