This is so hard to admit - Page 5 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

LisaM · 05-13-2009, 03:34 AM

Struggling with similar things now, and SO much of it for me is psychological. The six months or so before I left my ex, I ate sugar almost every day, KNOWING that it was going to leave me rocking and crying and in pain a few hours later. It was like I was punishing myself for wanting to leave.

When I was living on my own, I could keep it largely under control, 'cause I just didn't keep the stuff in the house. Now, I'm getting married in 45 days, and I have been experimenting with wedding cakes, which means sugar and carbs and CAKE in the house all the dang time. Plus two teenagers in the house who bring junk food and sugared cereals in all the time. And I can't seem to stay out of it. I was rocking and in pain last night, once again, and had a serious talk with my fiance'.

Between cooking for him and the kids, and him cooking for me and the kids, I'm struggling both with portion control as well as the sugar thing. He had a weight problem in the past, and he's also dealing with portion control issues. (He's absolutely tee-freaking gorgeous now, by the way, six feet tall, slim, with wide shoulders, narrow waist and hips. Oh my.)

Bluntly, I'm a good cook, and so's he. It's hard for either one of us to know when it's time to stop eating, so we're going to work with each other on portion control. And he's going to help me keep sugary treats out of the house. He's such a good guy, and he gets that I don't ever want to go back to where I was. He's never known me fat, but he's seen the pictures, and the one pair of jeans that I kept to remind me. I'll let you know if it works--we've never had a fight, but I can see how him saying, "you don't need to eat that," could turn into one.

katzz87 · 05-13-2009, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

Bluntly, I'm a good cook, and so's he.

Two good cooks in the same household???

What a waste...send one my way, okay?! Oh, do either of you enjoy house cleaning too?

LisaM · 05-13-2009, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katzz87

Two good cooks in the same household???

What a waste...send one my way, okay?! Oh, do either of you enjoy house cleaning too?

Nope - 4 people in the house, aged 15 to 49, and NOBODY likes to do housework. The 18-year-old will do it when she's PMSing, but Lord, that ain't worth it... sorry for the highjack, back to your regular programming...

Fat Free · 05-13-2009, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisaM

, we've never had a fight, but I can see how him saying, "you don't need to eat that," could turn into one.

I would not make that a fight and im sure you know it would be said out of love but sometimes if we really need help we have to lean on the ones we love to say hey maybe we should look at a different choice. I know it can be hurtful to hear but what is really hurtful is stepping on that scale and it is 10 pounds heavier or worst breaking out those short shorts and you can not button the button or your thighs look like mountain tops

. So all im saying is take a deep breath if that is said and think...you know maybe this is not the best choice for me and choose something else. After all you worked hard to be that fine sexy beast you are today so why blow it over something will only be good for about 10 minutes!!!

Good luck! To all of us LOL.

Debz · 05-13-2009, 08:23 PM

Today was a good day. I think I'm getting back in the groove. Saying to to carbs is getting easier by the day and I have so much more energy.

I have a question for y'all...Do you find that when you eat a lot of carbs it makes you retain water? I've lost 5 pounds in the last several days that can't be real fat loss. I'm also getting up to pee twice in the night. Just wondering if anyone else experiences this.

Debz · 05-13-2009, 08:32 PM

Oh, one more thing. No more Food Porn (what call the Food Network). It makes me wanna eat.

Hi Lisa...I love to see your posts. Congrats on the upcoming wedding.

LisaM · 05-14-2009, 03:20 AM

Awwww, Debbie,

Thank you, darlin'. I felt like I kind of highjacked you... appreciate the compliment and the good wishes.

My opinion (and worth what you're paying for it) I think it's less that carbs make you retain water than that we just cycle through various times when our bodies hang on to it. I had a full hysterectomy almost 9 years ago now, and I swear, my body still cycles in and out of retaining water. And I'm not taking hormone supplements, haven't since like a year and a half after the removal of all the female squishy bits.

I've been thinking a lot about what you said first. In your original post, you were actually right, YOU WERE EATING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. How many skinny women do you know that you've seen pigging out on occasion? They DO! And then they increase their movement, and compensate in other ways, and it comes back off again.

What we have, and the eternally skinny don't, is the memory of being super-obese. So it complicates matters and throw a few psychological wrenches in our subconscious. Yes, we were addicted to food, but it was insane amounts of food that were insanely bad for us. Food addiction is kind of a misnomer, though I use it for shorthand along with everyone else. Our addiction was to how it felt to overuse food, either through sheer amounts or through the bugaboo of sugary/salty carbohydrates, almost always mixed with fats. I've never seen anyone come on here and say "I was addicted to protein." Just doesn't happen...

What I'm trying to say is that, if you feel you must look at it like fatty/salty/sugared carbs are the dragon and you are the dragonslayer, that's understandable. But by investing all that emotion (love it, hate it, still emotion) and the energy it takes to avoid it (not watching food porn), you're still giving food the power to reshape your life (and your butt, incidentally).

Not sure I'm expressing this the way I want to... but to take yet one more page out of my own life, while I still loved the man who abused me, he had power over me. While I hated him, guess what? Still had power over me. When I finally no longer cared about him, he NO LONGER HAD POWER OVER ME. Food is exactly the same way--if you can get away from the whole power trip that you've let food lay on you, you will have all the power. It's not a matter of willpower--"I will not eat a Turtle today!" It's a matter of "I don't need it, so there's no reason to eat it." Calm, serene, shrugging reaction. Oh, and "Move on, all you people that are watching me to see if I'm going to gain the weight back, there's nothing to see here." Not exciting, not some epic battle, just "No, thanks."

Make sense?

Edit: Had to come back on, because I realized I'm making it sound like I'm the freakin' Buddha of fooda attituda...

The ability to take or leave food is what I strive to get to on a daily basis. I don't actually get there every single day, week, month and year. But every time I get to that place in my head, it gets a little easier to get there the next time, and the next. It's a journey, baby, not just a destination.

watfam4 · 05-14-2009, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debz

I have a question for y'all...Do you find that when you eat a lot of carbs it makes you retain water? I've lost 5 pounds in the last several days that can't be real fat loss. I'm also getting up to pee twice in the night. Just wondering if anyone else experiences this.

When I used to low carb I would lose 5 or 10 pounds of water weight whenever I would start (re-start) the diet. Of course I would gain the water weight back very quickly once I went off the diet as well. Fasting will also cause you to lose water weight rapidly.

njnicole10 · 05-14-2009, 01:28 PM

all i have to say is wow...
thanks for your honesty.
happy for you for admitting your not perfect and we all have flaws...
to be honest i feel like im on the opposite side of the spectrum... im guilty of not eating. i eat normally once a day. never get my protein in, and feel horrible about it. when i was in high school i had an eating disorder, really messes with my head... since having the surgery food doesnt draw my attention anymore and im so afraid of gaining back my weight b/c i see how far i have come in the past 4 months plus im never hungry i find myself hardly eating. i am trying to eat more.
thanks for being brave. i think we all have things we need to work on.... best of luck!

annie's mom · 05-14-2009, 01:46 PM

I gotta agree with Lisa on one point she made .....When I have a moment, time, experience or whatever where I can "easily" walk away from the food it empowers me for the next time and the next time ....because I recognize and accept I am a food addict!! Gotta say that "empowering" feeling is better than anything going in my gut ..LOL...
Makes me feel like I can really do this for the long run...