This is so hard to admit - Page 3 - ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass Forum, Lap Band Forum, and Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Forum

sherry7 · 05-08-2009, 07:04 PM

Debbie, I admire you for being honest.

I think that's the first step...by being honest with us, you are in turn, being honest with yourself.

((((Hugs!)))))

Corrine · 05-08-2009, 07:28 PM

It must have taken a huge amount of courage to post and for that, you will always have my admiration.

I try not to eat any starchy carbs at now. One bite of bread (and that's my drug) will have me wrestling with a craving beyond all belief for the rest of the day.

One day at a time sweetheart.

Rudy8844 · 05-08-2009, 09:49 PM

I admire you for your honesty and it is so good for me as a newbie to see that EVERYONE struggles. I have to keep my priorities straight and keep it up. I think we have all been there some time in our lives... where we get a little big for our britches about weight loss- isnt that why we usually gain it back? BECAUSE of our ISSUES? Thank you for being so REAL! Your words were words I have said to myself! Thanks for the post!

girl1dir · 05-08-2009, 10:50 PM

Debz --
Sometimes I don't know if I should post in threads like these b/c I am not a patient... but I know from spousal (and personal) experience how hard that freakin' carb monster is to beat down. You are strong and will make it through this rough patch!

I feel the good vibes heading your way from the whole forum!
We're rooting for you!!

Go kick that carb monster in the 'nads!!!
Beat him when he's down!!
Go ahead -- we're watching for the cops!!!

We got your back!

I_love_Hello Kitty · 05-09-2009, 09:00 AM

Hi Debz,
I haven't been on here much recently. I think you get to a certain point and you think...wow I'm cured.

WRONG.

I never got below 152. But I was relatively happy with that weight. I weighed myself this week and am at 155. I don't want to go over the 155. but really I feel I should be around 145...or at least would like to be.

I have been eating whatever I want in small portions...and not enough of the healthy stuff. I also have been drinking alcohol on the weekends, freely I might add. I cannot let this 3 lb gain turn into a 10, or 20 or 30 etc gain.

I feel depressed and stressed about it which I think adds to my cravings to eat. I can eat whatever I want without a serious reaction...I don't really dump although sometimes I get a bit shakey with too much sugar but thats about it.

I'm thinking about starting the 5 day pouch test. I don't know. I feel so weak...not physically...mentally. Like I don't think I can do it. Maybe I don't want to do it...I tried it once and failed.

All of these thoughts bring me back to the pre-surgery me. The obsessing and depression.

ardita · 05-09-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I_love_Hello Kitty

Hi Debz,
I haven't been on here much recently. I think you get to a certain point and you think...wow I'm cured.

WRONG.

I never got below 152. But I was relatively happy with that weight. I weighed myself this week and am at 155. I don't want to go over the 155. but really I feel I should be around 145...or at least would like to be.

I have been eating whatever I want in small portions...and not enough of the healthy stuff. I also have been drinking alcohol on the weekends, freely I might add. I cannot let this 3 lb gain turn into a 10, or 20 or 30 etc gain.

I feel depressed and stressed about it which I think adds to my cravings to eat. I can eat whatever I want without a serious reaction...I don't really dump although sometimes I get a bit shakey with too much sugar but thats about it.

I'm thinking about starting the 5 day pouch test. I don't know. I feel so weak...not physically...mentally. Like I don't think I can do it. Maybe I don't want to do it...I tried it once and failed.

All of these thoughts bring me back to the pre-surgery me. The obsessing and depression.

Simone,

Hang in there. This is definitely a one day at a time process lifelong. We are addicts and take great comfort in our vice. Drinking is an addiction too; can you cut that down to one day rather than the whole weekend? Little by little, trade the good for the bad. And if today is nt a good day, make tomorrow a good one. Good luck.

I'm ten days out and really struggling. I have to agree with Smittymo ("Things I wish I had knoown beforehand post #102). It is a lot harder than I ever imagined and I am hungry. Yes, food is my comfort, but I am also just sick of drinking. (Old timers, please don't yell at me but...the truth is, ) I have already had some bites of mashed potatoes and gravy (more gravy), a penne pasta noodle, and even some smashed egg salad. Water and clear liquids sit like a lump in my stomach, even when I sip, so besides the fact that I am hungry, thirsty, and on a liquid diet, it is not satisfying to drink-it is uncomfortable. (and yes, I went to my surgeon Thurs-he wasn't really concerned about the fact that drinking makes me feel like I have a rock in my stomach). It took years to get too heavy. It doesn't make sense to think you can just be forever cured. But don't give up trying...

ardita · 05-09-2009, 08:15 PM

Thank you, Deb, for your honesty. It makes the othes of us not perfect know we are not alone. I am just 10 days post op VSG but am struggling.Weak, hungry and sick of drinking. I'll keep trying to follow all the rules but each day is another challenge. Good luck to you. You are in a good place, having caught it before you were too far down the road. Just take it one meal at a time.

MiladyB · 05-09-2009, 08:33 PM

Deb, it takes a lot to be honest with yourself but your honesty shows me that you care enough about yourself to do this right.

You most certainly aren't the only one that struggles. I actually worry more about the person who claims that they always do everything right. I know for myself how hard this maintenance thing is. I most certainly struggle too. The other day at work was extremely stressful. I never got supper but a couple families had brought in cookies, candy, muffins, etc for the staff. Every time I stepped into that conference room a piece of candy or a bite of a cookie went into my mouth. I can control it at home because I keep that stuff out of my house but put me in front of a table filled with junk food watch out! Thankfully I've maintained my weight loss within 5 pounds but the scale has kind of been freaking me out the last few days. I've crept up to 155 and that is my "never go over" weight.

For myself I've stepped back and tried to take the emotional side of all of this out of the equation. I try to look at it very analytically. Not beating myself up for the things I have done but I've just simply looked at what I need to do to get back on track.

When you are honest with yourself and others you have put yourself back into control. Realization makes that struggle tangible which in my book puts you in control.

You can do this, Deb. I know you can. You haven't messed up everything you just slipped and stumbled a bit. We all do that, hon...we really do. But you aren't a failure unless you just don't pick yourself back up and I don't see you doing that at all.

Crimson Kittie · 05-09-2009, 09:08 PM

Debbie it's like you took the words right out of my mouth/head whatever lol

I have reasoned with myself on so many occasions that no matter what the food .. if I spread it out I am eating like a thin person. That's exactly why no diet ever worked long term for me.

That's exactly why I had this surgery. I do have a problem and I can't control it on my own.

So I stand up with you, grab your hand and say I too am a food-a-holic.

You rock Debbie. We will beat this

feliciadragon · 05-09-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I_love_Hello Kitty

I have been eating whatever I want in small portions...and not enough of the healthy stuff. I also have been drinking alcohol on the weekends, freely I might add. I cannot let this 3 lb gain turn into a 10, or 20 or 30 etc gain.

I feel depressed and stressed about it which I think adds to my cravings to eat. I can eat whatever I want without a serious reaction...I don't really dump although sometimes I get a bit shakey with too much sugar but thats about it.

I'm thinking about starting the 5 day pouch test. I don't know. I feel so weak...not physically...mentally. Like I don't think I can do it. Maybe I don't want to do it...I tried it once and failed.

All of these thoughts bring me back to the pre-surgery me. The obsessing and depression.

I was right where you are just a few weeks ago. I moved in with my sister and her family and I got into the habit of eating what they were eating (combined with trying to quit smoking). I gained 15 lbs and was completely and utterly disgusted and angry at myself. You can get back on track! You can do this! I did the 5dpt last week and got it together! It made me realize exactly where I was sabotaging myself. I look back now at some of the things I was eating (cinnamon toast for breakfast) and think how did I ever think I was gonna get away with that? Seriously - bread with fat and sugar on top - did I really somehow manage to justify that? The best way to be successful with the 5dpt is to plan your menu for all 5 days based on the recipes from the website, go to the store and buy all the stuff you need, and make things like the soups in advance and then set your mind that you ARE going to do this. It really will help. Don't look at it as I've failed before so I don't want to try again. Even when you don't succeed you learn something that you can use to do it better next time. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've tried to quit smoking - yesterday was 3 months without one and standing strong! You can do this!