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Some of you know I've been faced with many complications, and doctors talking of reversing my surgery. I've been very verbal about being sorry I did have the surgery just simply because of what I've been through. This surgery has kicked my ass big time. So ... here is what I've uncovered the past two weeks. I tell you that I have made an incredible recovery this time. Maybe the fear of reversal, losing my life etc brought me to this place. For whatever reason I'm grateful.

just wanted to update you on stuff. I have really worked through this stuff quickly (I had to)
But what I know for sure is this:

Nausea is 90% better since going off anti depressant meds. I am still off them, depression is better now that I'm getting healthier.

The pain in my left side that has been there for two years has apparently been a "kink" in my colon. Evacuating daily has eliminated this problem. Took nearly 3 weeks for this pain to subside.. but it's gone now.

75% of my food has been liquids, and may end up that way. I stopped fighting solids, and eat what I can. Today I'm 131.5, up from 114 two weeks ago! All the reasons for reversal are going away. I need to put on another 15 lbs, and then I'm going to attempt to go off marinol, and MJ I've been using for eating and nausea. just want some weight in reserves when I start messing with my food. MJ makes me eat.

Anyway good news, I have about 70% energy back, and trying to kick up my protein to 100 grams a day (80 right now) and hopefully I will bring my energy level up enough to survive.
That's been the tough thing getting enough food. Liquids help me to do that. I drink about 4 cups of whole milk a day which gives me 40 grams just with that. I've stopped visualizing my body eating on itself, and replaced it with the thought of my body is gaining weight and I have lots of energy! That's my new saying. I'm going to see the doctor again in a few weeks, but I'm sure he is going to say no reversal. And I'm not going to do a reversal because I'm afraid to live bypassed and all the continued problems.

I appreciate Van your comments really helped me to get some insight as to just dealing with this better. I must admit I was trying to force solid foods because we are suppose to eat them. Instead of just eating what I can and increasing that. So now I drink lots of smoothies with protein, and fiber. And in between I snack. This is not your typical bypass mind you. Most of you don't eat constantly... I have to .. and maybe one day I won't. I eat whatever and whenever I want only because it's necessary. Who knows if I start to gain weight like crazy I will make adjustments. For right now I'm just grateful I'm 131.5 and not 114! Thanks Janie