You are not crazy
Thanks for sharing your pain. It takes courage to be open about this. I can totally relate. I have the same issue and no one really understands. I have found that it has gotten better over time. I have lost about 110 (it still fluctutates) and yet I still see the size 24 girl in the morro, instead of the small/medium top and 10/12 bottom. I have even said to people that I still need to loose another 20 or so. A number of people have asked me to stop loosig because they are afraid I am getting too thin and that is sompletely foreign to me. I think for me it has something to do with the fact that I didn't really see myself as being as big as I was, and at the same time, I did. I literally hated my body and thought about how much I hated my body almost 24/7. It takes time to undo all of that self hatred. A number of people have told me I seem calmer now. I think I just don't hate myself anymore, and that is a new feeling for me. I think the feeling "obese" is tied to still not likeing myself. I have definitely had some harsh treatment from the general population as most obese people have, and now that I am smaller, it has really changed. It is uncomfortable to feel attractive, and more familiar to feel unoticed and unwanted.
Hope this helps...
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Shannon
265/255/153/135
Start/Pre-op/Current/Goal
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