As I near my one year post op date I am pondering/self reflecting if you will on the way I and my life have changed.
1. I pick shoes based on how they look not on comfort or not having to been over to tie them.
2. I no longer stuff myself into a size too small pants just to easy my vanity. I want to be comfy dang it. And when you are a 20 is an 18 that much smaller?
3. I order food I want in a restruant within dietary guidelines of course....no longer do I try to get the most "bang for my buck"
4. Going to Mcd's causes anxiety than eases it for me. Pre op a nice 99 cent double cheese burger would ease the anxiety away for a bit (later to be replaced by guilt and weight anxiety). Now its...what can I eat, will they make it right, oh screw it I'll wait till I get home.
5. Diet Coke all the way was the beverage of choice pre op. Now I ensure I am NEVER without at least a box or 2 of crystal light in my car, purse, backpack and a back up box at my mom's "just in case"
6. Back to clothes...Jeans are my friend now. They are great and go w/ everything
7. I no longer need a nap in the afternoon to rest up.
8. When people are rude obnoxious or mean to me I no longer think it is b/c I am MO; Its because they are BITCHY PEOPLE
9. I let people hug me now....before at church I didn't want people touching my fat
10. Still big into the showering 2xs a day. Now becasue it relaxes me not because I have a "smell" from being MO.
11. I used to think being slender would help me get a guy/friends/career etc. Friends are friends regardless, guys are not worth the investment at this time and I am branching out into different career pathes. I want to finish up my psych degree but am dabbling more in art works now. I am designing 2 tee shirts today
How I am still the same.....
1. GBS is not a cure all to fix your screwed up life. I still have family/life problems. GBS brought the proverbial puss out of the zit though instead of just ignoring it was there.
2. I still have the same witty, clever personality. Now it just adds to who I am instead of the perceaved (fat person hiding pain with humor).
3. I still sometimes miss food. Sometimes I still want to emotionally eat.
4. Hearing commericals about fad diets still infuriate me.
5. I am still a crappy driver...but I'm better b/c my stomach doesn't creat drag on the steering wheel.
So what about you all.....