I've never been in your shoes, as I'm just here as a hand-holder to someone who did have the surgery, but the first thing I would have said to my hand-holdee is this.
Quit beating yourself up over it!
Speaking as someone who has had to deal with depression in myself, I can say that if you belittle yourself for things you drop the ball on, it will just trigger a vicious cycle that will spiral down further and further.
You need to be able to accept your mistakes and learn from them. Take some time to look at yourself on an emotional level and, as the previous poster said, find out if there's something else bothering you that's related or unrelated to the surgery.
Do you feel like you don't deserve to be losing this weight?
Are you not happy with how people react to the change in you?
Is there something wrong at home?
Are you looking for attention? (God I used to be SO guilty of that... acting out to get any kind of attention I could.)
After you figure out what, if anything, is wrong then you can work on fixing it. Sometimes it's not something you can fix and just recognizing the problem alone is the best you can do to help remedy the side-effects.
It's hard to turn a critically honest eye on yourself without putting yourself down, so be very careful. Don't start disliking who you are. Just accept the dark parts of you as a piece of the whole; a piece that makes up your entire character.
Everyone has their bad times and moments they're not proud of. What's important is how you respond to them and how you try to overcome them.
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Andrew - Giving Jenny Fuzzies since June 28, 2006 Goals completed:
- Got her to admit that she's beautiful. - Dec 11, 2006 Quote: "I'm hot, dammit!"
- First meeting - Oct 5, 2006
- First kiss - 15 minutes later (We were shy...)
Goals left to do:
- Move in together - She's filed modifications to child custody, and we're hoping to get her to Canada this summer.
- Put that ring on her finger
- Make babies - And of course, get lots and lots of practice in!
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