ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post

mauldinmama · 03-01-2007, 12:30 PM

| | | Inbox

As you begin to seek inner faith and come to trust yourself and your
abilities, you must first cross a small bridge. We call this the "bridge of
forgiveness". At this point in your journey you make the emotional decision
to evolve. You have come this far by making the intellectual decision to
move forward, but now you must make the emotional decision. Now you must
step upon this bridge of forgiveness so as not to carry the past into the
future.

Put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and relax. See yourself
standing at the foot of a bridge. Stand there quietly. Take a brief moment
to look back. See the past you leave behind. See the old disappointments
and ancient sorrows as vague shadows far in the distance. You do this so
you may release them. The way to let them go is to forgive.

Take another deep breath. Calm yourself. Even though this is a small bridge
it can be a difficult one to cross.

As you start across the bridge you will begin to call forth all those in
the past and those presently in your life who have hurt you. Allow into
your awareness the faces of those who have caused you pain. Some people
will appear suddenly before you, people you have almost forgotten, and
people you remember all too well. With each face, each name and each memory
of pain, begin to forgive.

Recall the classmates and childhood friends who laughed at you and forgive
them. Recall when your parents acted unwisely, or were insensitive and
forgive them. Recall employers who may have been unfair or caused you
stress. Forgive them. Now is the time to forgive those who died and left
you alone.

Allow to come into your mind all those you loved but who rejected you, not
because of who you are, but because they could not see, could not accept,
because they were frightened. Begin now to forgive them. Bring into mind
the lovers in your life, even if they were a part of your life for only a
brief moment. Recall the pain, the difficulties, the misunderstandings, and
their final departure. Remember how it felt and begin to forgive.

Now is the time to forgive all those who hated you, who despised and
ridiculed you, those who considered themselves to be your enemy. Forgive
all enemies.

Let their faces come to mind. Let the incidents of the past be remembered
no matter how painful, no matter how much you would rather forget. Allow
the images and feelings to arise so you can release them with forgiveness.

Realize you have kept these memories and their remnant pain within you. You
have held on to them. You may have thought you had forgotten, that you
shrugged them off and turned your back against them, however, realize that
each experience is held within your memory and still effects how you walk
in the world. You have not yet released the pain through forgiveness. You
have not looked upon each experience with wisdom and love and strength.

The ego uses these memories to remember what is painful and to keep you
guarded against future pain. This keeps you from moving forward. Unless you
forgive and release the pain it will always be a part of you like a heavy
chain dragging behind you, clanking loudly and slowing your evolution.
Release this chain that binds you.

As you walk across this bridge and encounter the faces of pain and sorrow
you may feel once again the anger, the heartache of rejection and
loneliness. Even the memory of physical pain could be felt anew and cause
you to retreat in fear. Realize those old feelings stand in your way of
truly forgiving. Use your inner strength to cross this bridge, forgiving
those who would stand in your way, determined to go beyond the pain of the
past.

With some memories you may see clearly and with amusement the
misunderstandings that occurred so long ago. With other memories the images
may seem quite solid, quite real as you re-experience the pain. In such a
case you may feel great reluctance to forgive. You may feel only anger
towards the person who caused you such harm. It is then you must take the
staff of perseverance and walk steadily past the offender with the simple
words, "I forgive you."

And in those relationships that were especially close to you, in those
experiences in which the pain is too deep and the heartache is too
devastating, great strength will be needed. When you resist having to look
at the experience again and you fear the anguish and torment of the open
wound use the sword to cut away the fear, to destroy the weakness, and
dispel the darkness of that memory. Use the sword to cut away the chains of
that memory that darken your life and use the power of forgiveness to end
your suffering.

Yes, there are those people you would cherish hating, those you say could
never be forgiven because the hurt is too deep, the damage too great. Begin
to understand that your anger and hate, your fear and pain keep you bound
to the situation and the people involved. By holding on to such feelings
you keep those people in your life, connected to them on an emotional
level. Even though the ones who hurt you may be long gone, even dead, you
remain connected to them by your feelings. They are still with you. They
are still tormenting you. With forgiveness you let them go.

As you cross the bridge and face those who hurt you be aware of your own
feelings towards them. If you ask yourself why forgive them; why forgive
those who died and left you alone; why forgive those who rejected you; why
forgive those who were so cruel? Simply say to yourself, "They did not know
what they were doing."

If anyone of them had truly known there was another way of being in the
world they would not have acted according to the fear and desperation of
their egos. Had they known otherwise, they would not have allowed their own
fear and anger and hate to blind them. How could they act from love and
goodness when they did not know such power? They did not know there could
be another way. Their actions towards you were according to their limited
understanding. Yes, there are those in the world so lost in darkness, so
ruled by their own selfishness, so much a part of what you call evil, that
their actions seem cruel beyond imagination. Forgive them so you do not
fear them. Forgive those who have lost their souls. They did not know what
they were doing.

Forgiveness may not heal all the pain for some people. It is to their
benefit that some pain remains during their journey on earth. It may be
difficult to understand how a painful experience can actually be a
blessing. Many lives are altered by a single, traumatic event that forced
their souls to take a new direction in life. Though forgiveness may not
remove all the pain, it will remove the fear.

As fear is released with each step along the bridge of forgiveness you will
gain strength and perhaps some understanding as to why certain events have
occurred in your life. Even if you do not fully understand, even if you
find it hard to feel true forgiveness, nevertheless, continue to walk,
continue to say to all you meet, "I forgive you. Go in peace." After all,
you can never know true forgiveness unless you have someone to forgive.
And, when you begin to forgive others, you can then begin to forgive
yourself.

Halfway across the bridge stop for a moment and look inward, stand alone
and seek within yourself the sadness, the shame, and the guilt of your own
past mistakes. With the power of forgiveness you can do so with clarity and
courage. You must look at your own past and begin to forgive yourself. You
cannot step off this bridge until you have learned to forgive yourself with
the same love and wisdom and strength you have given to others. You must
call to mind what should be considered not sins or flaws, but simply errors
in judgment. Recall the times you acted unwisely, and forgive yourself.
Realize that through ignorance and pain, you have hurt other people. You,
too, were blind to those who were in need of your love. Forgive yourself.
You, too, rejected those who may have been seeking your understanding and
compassion. Forgive yourself because you were limited by the ego.

You must take responsibility for your actions in the world. You must accept
the consequences. True forgiveness is to acknowledge the errors of the
past, acknowledge what was done out of ignorance, and move forward in
another direction. The errors were part of learning. There is no need to
repeat what you have already learned. To forgive yourself is to overcome
the snares of the past so errors will not be repeated. Forgiveness heals
the past so the blindness, the fear, the resentments of the ego have no
hold upon you.

Forgiveness is a power. It is a force that cleanses, heals, and transforms.
The ego will have you believe that to forgive is to be weak. It interprets
forgiveness to mean condoning an action, acquiescing to the pain, and
forgetting what happened. Forgive and forget are two different words. You
cannot forget the experience. That would be foolish. The experience, though
painful, has made you wiser. If you would cleanse yourself of bitterness
and hate, it will be easier to see the wisdom you have gained. The ego,
however, will hold on to anger, hate, sorrow, and loneliness as a shield to
protect you from further pain. The ego sees itself as protecting you, but
it just keeps you limited and entrapped within the darkness of ignorance.
All that has happened in your life did so for a reason, though you may not
always understand why.

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the prison of the past. Don't linger
trying to understand why you should leave behind the limitations that bind
you. Use the power within you, use the force of your spirit to unlock the
door and forgive. It is the way of the spirit, the force of your True
Personality that can replace hate with love, exchange weakness for
strength, and bring the light of wisdom to conquer the blindness of
ignorance. It does so with forgiveness.

If you are willing to forgive all those who have hurt you then you have
made the emotional decision to evolve. Let the past remain in the past.
Realize those people are gone. Realize they have no power over you.
Understand that those experiences are ancient memories and will not happen
again except in your mind, if you allow it to be so. It is only with the
power of forgiveness that you leave behind the pain and sorrow.

The amount of pain you feel during this part of your journey, the intense
feelings of resentment and revenge that arise as you cross this bridge, are
in direct correlation to the amount of resistance you have towards
forgiving. If you are hesitant you will cross the bridge slowly and
increase the time spent reliving the hate, the hurt and the
disappointments. You can cross this bridge with sure and steady steps if
you allow yourself to feel the power of forgiveness.

As you reach the part of the bridge where you begin to forgive yourself you
may be hampered by feelings of shame and guilt. Do not allow such feelings
to stop you. You may also feel the opposite and struggle for justification
through self-pity. Do not allow such self-defense to blind you.

Feel the shame, feel the guilt, feel the self-pity, if you must, then let
such feelings go and seek instead the feeling of forgiveness.

Do not be afraid to look with wisdom, strength, and gentle kindness at how
you have lived your life. The errors you made were simply because you did
not know any better. Had you known otherwise, you would have acted
otherwise. You did not have the experience to teach you that there is
another way of being in the world.

The world you came into, the people in your life, the experiences you had
were all within the limitations of the ego. So were you. This is no longer
necessary. Let this experience of forgiveness be the first of many
experiences to teach you that a new way can exist. You can feel more than
what has been felt in the past. You can be more than what you thought
yourself to be. Wisdom is yours. Strength is within you. Love awaits. Put
down the shield of self-protection and raise the banner of forgiveness.
Crossing this bridge is a battle. It may be difficult for some readers. For
others it will go quite easily. A few might think they have crossed the
bridge only to find they have fooled themselves. Their journey will take
them back to the bridge so once again they have the chance to forgive. You
may have to cross this bridge many times, each time strengthening your
resolve to battle ignorance with forgiveness.

Only you will know if you have acquired the full force of forgiveness. The
power of forgiveness is not a power of the mind. Forgiveness is a power and
energy that comes from the heart. You will know it by feeling it. You will
feel its power as it heals your emotions. Do not hesitate to open your
heart and forgive the past, forgive yourself and move in a new direction.

On the other side of the bridge you enter the realm where you find the true
meaning of compassion. The concept of compassion has been so misunderstood.
The ego reduces compassion to pity. The full realization of compassion is
limited to feeling sorry for someone, feeling sorry for ourself. The ego's
judgments limit understanding and sorrow is felt for any experience it
defines as bad, that is, harmful to the ego. It looks upon such experiences
with pity rather than true compassion and spiritual understanding.

Compassion is a jewel. Pity is a rock. Understand the difference. In the
past you have used the rock of pity against yourself and against others.
Yes, you cause more harm than good when you use that rock. You hurt others.
You hurt yourself whenever pity is used. Whenever you use pity the limited
judgments of the ego are reinforced.

Pity grows from the ego's sense of helplessness in a situation. You try
shedding tears as if that would change it. You try throwing money at the
problem, as if that would change it. You may spend great lengths of time
using the intellect to analyze the cause of the problem, as if that would
change it. Still, there is suffering. Still, there is poverty. The earth in
its wisdom adjusts itself and you call the resulting floods, earthquakes,
and windstorms a pitiful tragedy. You feel pity for those who suffer, as
you would feel pity for yourself under the same circumstances.

Pity is a noose you put around your neck as you await circumstances to come
along and kick the chair out from under your feet. Pity is suicide. You are
killing yourself mentally and emotionally by feeling sorry for yourself.
Realize that pity keeps you trapped. It is a cage also for those you feel
sorry for, as you reinforce and project upon them your own fears and
sorrow. When you are trapped in pity you forget your inner strength. You
lose trust and faith. You become deaf and blind to the force of God
available to you.

If in your heart you feel the need to alleviate the suffering you see in
the world then get up and do so, but not with pity. Realize that pity
changes nothing. Go forth with strength, wisdom, and true compassion, and
then you will have an effect in the world. Pity cripples, compassion
strengthens.

You will need your strength to escape the trap of pity. Strength is needed
so you can lift your feet and continue on with life. If you are willing to
let go of the ego's pity you will soon discover true compassion. Therefore,
put down the rock and pick up the jewel. Seek a greater understanding than
what the ego offers.

We warn you against the limits of pity so you do not carry it any further.
You leave it behind. As you cross the bridge of forgiveness you looked upon
the experiences of your life. Once you reach the other side you begin to
look upon the circumstances affecting the world, affecting the lives of
those around you, and still playing a part in your own education. You will
learn to look with compassion.

With true compassion you will be guided towards a greater understanding and
a more expanded awareness as to the nature of both physical and spiritual
reality. Compassion will lift you to a higher level of consciousness. It
will keep you from relying on the limited judgments of the ego.

Compassion is a magical tool. It is there for you, for your journey on
earth, for your soul's evolution. You will know you possess the jewel when
you experience it working in your life. You will not have to think about
it, though you may have to remind yourself in the beginning to put away
pity and learn to see things in a different way, to look deeper than what
is apparent, to see beyond the limited judgments of the ego. Compassion is
insight. It is a part of your human consciousness that needs to be awakened
by developing your spiritual abilities. Only when you possess compassion
will you truly understand its abilities. Though you may struggle and search
for it, know that compassion is close at hand. Know it is yours.

In order to find the jewel we speak of, you must lift yourself out of the
quicksand of hate, out of the darkness of anger, out of the shackles of
pain and fear. You must throw off the yoke of pity. With the power of
forgiveness, with the power of your heart and the wisdom of your soul, the
gleaming jewel is within your reach