All the other posts are sooo true. I would sit your family down and talk with them. It is obvious you feel badly about your reaction, but let them into your mind and your thinking so that they can understand that this is a very emotional time. be especially sensitive to your wife since she also would like to have this surgery. Talk with her, not at her - keep her involved with your process and don't shut her out.
I am sure you will do the right thing. Hang in there for the ride of your (and your family's) life
