My 9 year old daughter has made no bones about her feelings regarding me having the surgery. She says she likes me "big the way you are", and is afraid I could die on the operating table. I think our kids need to see us as invincible. My 21 year old son, on the other hand is very supportive because he understands the danger of me staying MO. My fiancee stays pretty neutral...but that's just his nature. He says he'll support me whatever I do.
As far as your family's reaction, is it possible that you're talking obsessivly about your research? I got the "perhaps you could back off a bit on the daily research update" talk the other day. Maybe they've just had enough? Just a thought. I'm sure they love you no matter what. And it wouldn't be surprising if they do have some of the feelings you mentioned. You're not going to be just changing your life in a dramatic way; you're going to change theirs also. I know that when my honey talks about loosing some weight(he's about maybe 30 pounds overweight), I, as a women feel a little insecure about that. As long as he's a little overweight, I don't feel as uncomfortable about my weight in regard to him. But the moment he drops a few, I feel so self-conscious about my body. I dive for a towel after my shower and try to limit any nekkid time to total darkness. Maybe the thought of you loosing a significant amount of weight is scary for your wife.
Your reaction may have been strong, but,take a deep breath, and forgive yourself. It's a very emotional time you're in right now. I don't know about you, but I am really raw as I go through this process to surgery. In my decision to do this, I've had to admit that I basically have given up all hope that I can diet this off. I have to remind myself that's not a failure, but an admittance that I need more help than a diet can give me. But either way, it's a painful admission. In addition, knowing that the decision about your surgery is in the hands of the insurance company...that OTHER people who don't know you are making this major decision about you is very stressful. I hate not having any finality in my life right now. So, if you pop off every now and then, it's understandable. Just dont wind up on "Cops"
I don't think it's possible to over prepare...especially for an insurance company. The more questions you cover before they ask them, the better off you are, in my humble opinion. Good luck with your insurance. Be kind to yourself. Sorry for writing a book...