ThinnerTimes - Gastric Bypass and Lap Band® Forum - View Single Post

eyesthatkissu · 12-04-2006, 06:00 AM

Well hello my beautiful people! I know it's been ages since I checked in. But sometimes life just requires a little focus! I felt it was time to say hello and post an update. So here I am just a little over a year out. Everything is fantastic. I'm 170 pounds, and a size 10. An 8 after my tummy tuck in the spring. I have no physical issues with food at all. Nothing makes me throw up and I haven't dumped in ages. I can eat pretty much whatever I want. This is a good thing, except it makes life more like being on a diet. I have to consistently make good food choices. And I am accountable to myself when I don't. My hair pretty much completely is gone. It didn't really fall out all the way, but it fell out, and broke off. It just became so weak. It's just something I had to come to terms with! Another thing I had to accept was the damage my morbid obesity and subsequent rapid weight loss has done to my body. In clothes no one can tell, but out of clothes.... holy guacamole! My boobs are icky, and the pannus, inner thighs and arms not the greatest! It's a wee bit depressing, but I'd still take this over what I was in a second. This stuff is tolerable, and fixable! God Bless plastic surgery!

That's the physical update. And now for the emotional one. We talk often about the lack of self-confidence that morbid obesity brings. And we have talked about what happens when it comes back. But I think it's important to realize that when my personal self-confidence came exploding back, it had very little to do with my appearance. People will often mistake it for that. What it really has to do with is finally, after all those years of being a failure, succeeding. Battling my inner demons and winning. And when it came back it came back with a gusto. Suddenly I could not only conquer the world but I wasn't going to let anyone stop me or bring me down. That certainly put a different spin on my marriage. Suddenly I was much less willing to accept being treated anyway I felt was not what I deserved. My husband, God love him, didn't know quite how to keep up or what to do. And things became pretty icky for a few months. We really had to struggle and work, and thank God I was blessed with a man who loved me enough to think I was worth the work, and was willing to make changes. We have come back together as a team, and things have never been better, and things are so much better then I ever could have imagined. Granted there is always a possibility that the changes are short lived, and that he only made them to "get me back". And he knows that if that is the case we will be in the same situation we were before. But it seems very genuine to me. And don't get me wrong, I had to make changes as well. I had to come to terms with how my insecurities damaged our marriage. I can not blame him for sometimes treating me as though I wasn't important. I didn't think I was.

I'm working full-time and loving every minute. I miss my boys though, and that's hard to get used too. I have pretty much lost all of my friends I had pre-op except for one. It took some getting used to but I'm okay with it. I don't think it had much to do with my surgery except for myself being much less ready to accept less then what I feel I deserve from the people I love. I don't need a million half-hearted friends, I just need a few whole-hearted ones. So that's a brief update. I'm going to attach some pictures. You will see my pictures from the day of surgery. I just found the camera, :P. You will see me on Halloween one year later. And a few from my husbands company Christmas party. I hope everyone is doing well, and I'm sorry I've been absent, but as I said, sometimes we just need to FOCUS.