Melanie,
The main thing I want to say is this.......whine, vent, rant, worry, and stress to us anytime! I use some of the wonderful board members here almost as a Dear Diary.....only they answer back.
Sometimes you just need to say it so you can deal with it. You are human and you are struggling. Try and just find a few minutes for a quiet time and then just keep doing the next right thing you know to do. It will, in the end work out......and kids are resilient. The important thing is that you are there and you love them......they will remember that when they are grown......the Nikes, Uggs, or whatever is in style now will no longer matter. Just remember we are here to listen and we care about you.