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NewMel06 · 10-26-2006, 12:57 AM

I am having a really tough day. I am just overwhelmed with life today. 99% of the time I am upbeat, and always look for the positive in everything and the light at the end of the tunnel in any bad situation, but today the stresses of everday life are getting to me and I need to vent. I never do this on here, so I feel guilty dumping my problems out there, but I don't have anyone else to talk to and I just feel like I am going to burst. My husband is in and out so much (out to sea-Navy) I just feel like the whole weight of everything is cracking my thinning shoulders!! I used to be able to handle it all, and not feeling so strong and mighty any more. The transition of moving, quitting my job..... getting settled again.... It's all so much. We found out about a month and a half ago that my youngest son has a major speech delay. I have been working so hard with this child for a month now with the help of the speech therapist, day after day! Now when I go to his speech therapy appointment today, she says to me he is making no progress and now we need to assess his behavior, and see if that is the problem (hearing and language came back great- he understands what a 4-5 year old understands, yet can only communicate what a 2 year old can and he is three). Don't get me wrong, I want to find out and fix the problem, I just don't want it to be that then my stupid sister in law and everyone in my family who insulted me with comments about his behavior all summer are right. Until we get all this resolved, I feel like I just can't go back to work which creates a whole other bucket of troubles for me, since I had the higher income in the marriage. So now we have money problems to boot. Christmas is coming, two of my kids birthdays, my daughter needs braces, my kids are hassling me everyday for material items they want, I could give them a few months back but can't now, now I just worry about how to stretch the grocery money..... I just feel like I am a single parent right now wiht my hubby gone so much of the time, and when he is back it is only for a day or two, he usually has to work, and so doesn't have the time to take any of this on. At this point, whoever is reading this knows more about my son's latest speech news development than his own father because I know my husband hasn't even had the chance to read his email or he would have responded to me by now.

I appologize to for dumping this all out there. I just knew that if I didn't get on here and type, I was going to start raiding my cupboards until my tiny little pouch couldn't take any more, and I can't head down that road again in life. I will end up back to where I came from. Thank you so much to who ever has taken the time to read this, I know it is a lengthy rant on my own life. There isn't anyone I have to talk to. Don't want to admit to any of my family that I am failing as a mom with my son and God forbid I have money problems!

Well I have rambled on enough. It has helped to get my feelings out, but the anxiety is still there, so not sure what to do about that. I wish it wasn't too late for the gym, I could really stand to go work the hell out of my body right now!