Ok since my weight loss journey has started and even way before hand when the prospect of weight loss surgery had been introduced to me I have come across some really ugly and mean people. When I say ugly I don't mean it in the physical sense, so don't anyone go getting offended on me..
What I am trying to say is that there are some really mean people out there just waiting to prey on their next victim and say things that are so innapropriate and just plain wrong. Before I had surgery and before the thought ever crossed my mind I found myself confronted by plenty of people regarding my weight. I guess they didn't realize that I did already know that I was overweight?
I then realized that most of the people who felt they could simply speak their mind and not expect me to be offended were older people in their 80's.. I guess they knew I wouldn't hit them. Also a lot of them were men. I heard comments like "No man would ever be faithful to you when you are that fat" (I heard that from an old man and I also heard it from my own Father!) Now don't get me wrong, I love my Dad to death, but I don't even think he realizes that things like that hurt maybe even more coming from him. Anyway, my point being that people are mean and rude no matter what weight you are.
Since I have had surgery I have heard the following comments from people who never even bothered to ask my name.. didn't know me.. nothin..
1. I was somewhere I don't even remember where it was and this old lady kept staring at me. I thought that something was wrong with her or that she recognized me or something so I asked her if she needed anything or if I knew her? She said no but I wish I did know you. I smiled politely and asked why is that? She said because then I would not feel so bad telling you that you have no business wearing that skirt. You are too big for it. I calmed myself down quickly and told her that I felt her comment was inappropriate and that if she would have seen me six months ago then she would have had every right to say that. Then I went on to tell her that I had just lost 100 lbs and could safely fasten that size 14 skirt and it fit so therefore, I had every right to wear it. She just rolled her eyes and walked away unimpressed with my accomplishment. That day pretty much ticked me off and I have yet to wear that skirt again. It's kind of a shame too because now it is probably too big for me. This was a couple of months ago.
2. I was standing in line in the post office and this guy kept flirting with me, or I imagine he was because he kept making comments to me and trying to talk to me. Then he made the comment that I hadn't heard in quite some time bringing me back to my 274 pound body frame. He said "you know I really like you thick girls" Thick!!! Now I am not thin by any measure I am still overweight.. but that hurt. I thought I had made some progress. I guess not..
Anyway that got to me too. I kept getting mad all day thinking about it. I am not ashamed of where I came from, and I will NEVER forget where I came from either, but sometimes people can just be so uncaring and insensitive. I swear it makes me so mad. This happened a couple of weeks ago.
However, this one tops it all.. and it was from someone who knows me pretty darn well and it made me madder than anything.. it was from my Boss.. and it was the worst thing I had heard yet and he said it a couple of weeks ago.
Before I got my new position with this company I was the dispatch supervisor at night and we had T-Shirts with the company logo that we could wear if we wanted to.. anyways mine was a 3X and it was admitedly tight on me at the time. Well, I brought it into work a couple of weeks ago and put it up to me (now it looks like a tent on me) and said to my boss.. "Can you believe I used to wear this shirt?" He looked at me and said "You will again" Can you believe that?!!!!?? Oh man was I angry and I told him to bite me and some other choice words before slamming through the door and telling him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Thank goodness he loves me or this behavior wouldn't be acceptable..
But it hurt nonetheless. See he never wanted me to have surgery in the first place, he knew someone who had it and gained all their weight back and said she regretted ever having the surgery. She had it done years ago before the surgery was refined and done as it is today. She had the old stomach stapling not the gastric bypass.. either way I told him that most people who regret having the surgery and gain their weight back are not using the tool .. the pouch .. as it was intended to be used therefore they do gain their weight back. They snack, eat sugary stuff like cakes, and pies, and stuff like that. I haven't done that.. though I know one day I will probably put my hand in the cookie jar and hopefully end up regretting it with a bout of dumping .. hopefully..
But either way I just thought I would share with you some of the negativity I have received and open the flood gates for any of those who would like to vent about something that someone else said to them and had no right to do so. I can't change the world, I can only change the way I view the world. Now when people say negative things I will come in here and post it on this thread and let it go.. instead of carrying it with me for so long. It's funny how even though you lose 113 lbs or so you can still be looked at as obscene and disgusting by some. When will people ever learn that sensitivity is so easy to come by.. you don't have to voice your opinion on EVERYTHING. I mean who do these people think they are? Are they really better than me in their eyes? I am sorry but I personally don't have the time or the patience for people who think they are better than me weather they know me or not. We are all equal in my eyes.. that's my two cents.. thanks for listening..